Aug 11, 2007 08:02 AM
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May 2, 2003 and Feb 19, 2005 are the days, when I received two of the most precious gifts of my life. My elder daughter Lakshya, and my younger daughter Disha. For the past 4 years, they have given me and my wife, moments of undiluted joy and happiness. Sleepless and lonely in Seoul, my companion is the wonderful memories I have of them, and I just felt like putting them down here.
Seoul is a nice, lovely place, roads are wide and clean, weather is good, huge buildings. Bangalore, is crowded, and I have to negotiate, traffic jams and potholed roads going home. In Seoul I walk to my home in 10 minutes flat, without any hassles.
In Bangalore, I have to be patient in the traffic jams, and once I reach close to my home, look out for stray dogs. But in Seoul, when I open the door, it’s me alone, I am greeted by a small empty flat, quite and lonely. In Bangalore, when I ring on the doorbell, I am greeted with cries of “Daddy, Daddy”, pitter, patter of feet, and my two daughters, rushing towards the door. If my wife is some what late in opening the door, they start shouting,“Mommy, daddy has come”.And that makes me forget everything.
Whenever I reached home from work, I would always bring, those small packets of Cadbury Gems for my kids.
They love it so much, that invariably, on coming home, they would ask me, or search for my pockets to see if I bought it. So much that when I asked my daughter, what she wanted from Korea, she replied without any hesitation, Gems. Too often, we shower expensive gifts on our kids, assuming that, this is what they want. But kids just love the simple things of life.
For my daughters the greatest pleasure they get is, riding in the shopping trolleys, in Big Bazaar. Kids have a pretty uncluttered mind, they don’t care if something is down market or up market, branded or unbranded, in fashion or out of fashion.
They like something, they do it. For them a Rs 5 packet of Gems matters more than a costly foreign chocolate. They don’t like it, they are not going to eat it, simple as that. We have long ago stopped indulging in life’s simple pleasures, let us not deny that pleasure to our kids.
One day I got a phone call from my wife, Disha, was repeatedly crying on coming home from school. She wanted her Dad a lot. I did speak to her on phone, but she was still weeping. And I could not go home early, as I was tied up with work in office. I did manage to reach home.
As soon as I entered, Disha, clung to me. I asked her a couple of times, what happened, but she said nothing. I did not press further, and just held her close. At times, your kids, might be scared, or hurt due to some incident at school. They would desperately crave for your presence.
In such cases, when you find that she is not willing to tell you why he or she is upset, don’t press further. Kids can’t express their feelings as clearly, as an adult. They just want to be held and feel comfortable. They want a reassurance that no matter what, you are always there for them. Just give them that feeling.
It was a Diwaliday, and as the crackers, started, Lakshya, was stiff scared and started weeping loudly. The noises and sounds frightened her, and she just refused to come out. I love celebrating Diwaliwith crackers, and had bought along some.
Me and my wife tried for some time, to make her feel comfortable, but in vain. After some time, we decided to stop it. For a moment I was disappointed, but then when I saw Lakshya huddled up and sobbing, I remembered how scared I was of crackers as a kid myself. At times, kids might be scared of something or even doing something, and we feel what’s the fuss about.
Try for sometime and convince them to do it, if they still feel uncomfortable with it, leave it. You might feel momentarily disappointed, but remember your child’s sensitivity is more important.
I was working on my laptop, late into the night, one day. Lakshya, somehow was feeling restless that night. Both my wife and Disha, were fast asleep. She came to me, and I told her to go and sleep. But she kept on coming again and again. I then realized, that she somehow wanted me close by.
I switched off my laptop, and got onto the bed. And then she slept on my chest. She wanted me close by her side, as she was used to sleeping on my chest. Unable to express, she showed it in another way. At times, kids, might not be able to tell, what they want. They resort to all sorts of gestures. Try to understand, what they are seeking.
As I bade farewell to my family at airport, I had a look at Lakshya’s face. She was not crying, but in her face, there was an expression of sadness, that her father would not be there around for some time, and so was it in Disha’s face. I just want to tell my daughters one thing
“I might be far away from you, but you both are always close to my heart. I think of you every moment and miss both of you so much. Whatever I do, I always do it for your good, and I hope you would understand it. I love u Lakshya & Disha, you are my life, and you mean the world to me”.
