Sep 17, 2005 02:07 AM
5592 Views
(Updated Sep 17, 2005 11:31 AM)
I swear to God…..i really do…..i’ll never ever see a movie again on the first day……and I’ll never ever heed Radio Mirchi’s reviews. Those guys gave the movie a 7 star rating out of 5…..
Lemme get right down to the movie…..the Sole reason I’m actually typing out a movie review is because…..i don’t want any more people to go and watch the movie…..seriously…!!! ..If you’ve liked Musafir, you’d have noticed that there are many loose ends in the movie, none of which are really important, so that kind of fills up the void and you can actually enjoy the movie without straining your brains a lot.
Chocolate……I sat through 2 hours and 15 minuites of the movie before I could find out why it was named Chocolate. The movie essentially promises to be a suspense movie, full of action and death-defying stunts and a sex-obsessed Emran Hashmi, and an even more voluptuous Tanushree Dutta whose gorgeous legs and short skirts are probably the only 2 good reasons for a guy to check the movie out. Sushma Reddy, primarily a VJ looks out of place in the role of a Crime Reporter & she continually tries to improve on her bust shape to woo the opposite sex.
The only saving grace of the movie is Anil Kapoor, who acts and overacts just enough to keep the audience engaged whenever Tanushree isn’t showing off her cleavage or even her long luscious legs. Irfan Khan’s acting is hazy…..the majority of the audience being of the opinion that Irfan had just been given his dialogues a couple of minutes before every sequence of his was shot
The one thing that really angered me was the fact, that they are trying to fool people into thinking that the whole movie is shot in the U.K when it’s clearly obvious in a couple of scene that its not…….its Apna India.
Take this instance…..In an underground parking lot where a fight is about to take place, you see a Black Mitsubishi Lancer parked in the first shot. Ok…maybe you have Lancer’s in the U.K. A couple of minutes later you see a “English Lady and her child” get into a Maruti Esteem, The new “Freshly made over facelifted First Love version”.
At this point the whole audience is murmuring, heyy….isnt that a Maruti Esteem. Emran Hashmi is still shooting and opens the Esteem’s door and puts the foreigner’s child in the car so she doesn’t get hurt in the hail of bullets…..and this time you see the MUL Esteem……from the front……eye to eye…..
As the audience is squirming uncomfortably in the seat, out comes Arshad Warsi opening the boot of his Santro Zip Plus and shooting at the U.K Police. At this point the entire audience is pissed…….and understandably so. That little bit of fighting removed the whole “out-of-india” feel from the movie. Even when Anil Kapoor in the initial stages of the movie emerged from a Mercedes Benz C Class, in the middle segment of the movie, a S class Merc and in the last stages, a Merc CLS Coupe, the audience would just boo-boo and laugh loudly often creating a problem for cuddly couples who were kissing and making out in the seats.
Forget the Cars for a moment, and the rest of the movie is still pretty bewitching. You remember the miniature Bin Laden and George Bush masks scene from the movie Kya Kool Hai Hum, where they try to kidnap a girl. The same masks make an appearance in this movie, when they burn down a car to get a briefcase….and after successfully completing their job, they walk down the road and take their masks off leaving the audience in mass hysteria again.
Arshad Warsi does prove to be a wonderful capable actor and provides the odd laugh for the people who were bored of seeing Anil Kapoor shouting and Tanushree Dutta showing off her cleavage and her thighs, but heyy……..look on the bright side…..now we can look forward to a little more skin show from Mallika Sherawat and the gang.
The movie has quite some loose ends which don’t fit in at all with what is being shown at the screen. Even after the movie ended, the audience was trying to piece together what actually had happened. This one bloke was actually asleep on his seat….dozing off to his hearts delight……and I barely had enough caffeine inside me to keep me awake till I drove back home.
They have tried to put so much suspense into the movie, that until the mid-way point you’re never quite sure of who is doing what, and more importantly why. The action more or less kills the whole suspense of the movie……and with gunshots going back and forth and people killing nameless people and drug barons trying to sell drugs to make a quick buck, you are kept on your toes asking who is going to get killed next, forget asking why
Back to the elusive Tanushree Dutta again, this chick is going to go a long way in Bollywood….trust me….she’s got smouldering eyes and a pair of legs to die for…….and her skirts….Mama mia…….Shes got a collection of skirts, even the Versace's and Donna Karen wouldn’t have envied.
All in all……since I cant divulge the suspense or even the story of the movie…..(the suspense coz I cant divulge it to anybody who STILL wants to go and watch the movie…..nor the Story…..because at this point right now…..i’m not sure myself what the story is……)
One thing I can guarantee you for sure, at the end of the movie…..down the flight of stairs you’re gonna listen to a lot of conversation about two things…..one being Tanushree’s hot bod and the other being questions and explanations about the ”…who…..why…..where…..when…… &…..Whats????” of the movie sequences. And in the end…..after the numerous different explanations from each of your friends……if you find and finalize a single one….and manage to tie up even 80 % of the loose ends of the movie, consider yourself to be a real movie buff….and be very proud of yourself and treat yourself to some nice, dark………..Chocolate!!!
Please RRC.......
