''Wow, what a pretty babe'', I almost whispered aloud, as I kept stealing glances at the girl in my railway compartment, in a kind of apparel that girls didn't wear when I was in college. Then suddenly her demure looks changed to portray sheer anger. ''What da, did she catch me ogling at her?'', my mind began to race as my heart started thumping. Then she walked over to where I was sitting and I saw a clenched fair fist coming in my direction at blinding speed and ''whack''.
I almost hit my head on the window of the local train I was traveling in. I felt my jaw and it seemed straight and my specs were where it should have been. I must have dozed off...the girl was still there where I last saw her and still retained her cute looks. Thankfully!
Just remnant effects of last night I spent with three...sorry four oomph girls.
No no no, that's not what I meant. I mean I saw the last show of Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle, literally the last show!
What a mind-blowing movie! I am still searching for it!
Let me know if any one of you happens to find my mind.
It was like Hot-Shots 2...a spoof on several other movies. And it was unintended or was it?
Of course, the start began on a good note. Oh yes, I remember Alex Munday (Lucy Liu) get out of a cargo box and I was awed wondering what a flexible body she is gifted with, to pack her like that - in a cargo box! Then you get to see a wild girl with Googly-woogly chubby cheeks, (Drew Barrymore) gambling amongst dreadful men and the forcefully funny entry of the debonair Natalie Cook (Cameron Diaz) who does a rodeo on a mech bull. What were they doing there? Oh rescuing some Government official. Well, things work as planned, till Mr. Murphy proved his supremacy here...even in the movies, his laws work good, wot say TIC? And mind you it was funny to watch the entire gang of goons looking dead serious and angry at the two ladies escaping with the prisoner, while Cameron continues with her ''hiyaa'' ''hiyaa'' act on the mech bull. The ladies did manage to make the audience laugh with their histrionics and the chorus loud scream. So far so good...
Then came the first ham scene. Wonder when Sajid Khan will rip English movies apart. Here the ladies (and the rescued official) manage to escape in a truck and are caught in the middle of a bridge with both ends blocked. So the clever girls (am I not good at paradoxes), chose to jump off the bridge with the truck. And guess what comes out of the truck - a helicopter! So God is with the Angels! They, with great skills manage to start the winged copter and miraculously save themselves - two of them on the wings...a la James Bond opening.
Note: (1) the bridge wasn't 4000 feet above ground level to have all that free time.
(2) My schoolteacher told me that two objects when released would fall down simultaneously, irrespective of the mass and in absence of any other forces except gravity. So she lied!
We get to know the story next. There are some witnesses dying. Remember Arnie's ''Eraser''. Well the witnesses Ids were erased and they were relocated. It seems there were many such crimes happening so much that the government had to make a huge list and then cleverly encrypt it as codes embedded in two titanium rings - one with boss of US Marshal Service Erik Carter (Robert Patrick - the T2 metalloid) and the other with Head of Security for Justice Dept. (Bruce Willis, only on screen for 3 min). Easy targets! Whatever happened to Fort Knox or MI-1 kinda protected rooms.
So goons are willing to pay huge money for the list or the rings. So any guesses what the Angel's new assignment is? But then who is behind the killings and who is it that the angels have to procure the rings from?
ANSWER: Madison Lee (Demi Moore), an ex-angel who didn't quite like Charlie and his speaker mouth.
So tell me, should I ask Mr. J August (who wrote this story) to register on MS?
What happens from ham scene1 described above till the end was total brainless, physics less action scenes. If Newton could see the action stunts, he wouldn't have bothered himself on seeing the apple fall. That would have saved us the trouble of learning s = u * t + 0.5gsq(t).
We have a thunderous moto-cross race, in which the goon shoots at the angels with gun in both hands as the bike leaps in the air and then safely lands. And the best part is the angels dodge bullets in mid-air too. When a bullet does hit an angel's arms, she jumps on too another angel's bike...again in mid-air. Har har Har har (that was me laughing)
Wait...there's so much more. You must see how the angels jump in the air, all in different directions (in one of the fight scenes at a dock) and then each one of them miraculously find wooden planks (also blown in air) and surf over a rope...all 3 of them on the same rope. Har har Har har (that was me laughing)
Oh no there's so much more. Watch the end when Madison jumps off a building using a cape (like Batgirl) and flies to her car (like Supergirl) while the angels follow (now who's left...u guessed it right - Spidergirl)...ok ok there's no Spidergirl, but this movie had 3 of 'em. Har har Har har (ooee maa my stomach, always aches when I laugh too much)
Sorry...I can't continue like this. But there's more hamming than that, and you gonna enjoy that!
While the action scenes were appalling, there are quite some things to watch:
(a) Cameron and Demi on the beach. Yo man, Moore looks so much more stunning than Diaz.
(b) Cameron dancing to ''You cant touch this'' - MC Hammer style, she's cute (I loved that stage dance she staged in part 1 - Natalie is obviously my favorite angel)
(c) The dance at strip tease joint
(d) Cameron helping a cow deliver...I still don't believe she did that scene!
(e) Drew Barrymore teaching the a*ss spanking guy at the bar how to play the jukebox.
(f) Demi Moore with her two big...golden guns :-). It was funny to watch the angels jump in the air even before she fired at them, make them easy targets...flying ducks!
(g) O Grady's (Justin Theroux) hair cut and abs!!! Also watch him walk topless through raging fire - like T2 villain, only he is supposed to be human and not a metalloid.
Now it seems like Bosley was a new guy (a lil change from part 1) but the comedy stuff on his part was okey dokey, while I don't know why they had to introduce Alex's father (John Cleese).
Total time pass, dhamal masti, mindless movie...oh that re-minds me, I have lost my mind...lost...how then did it re-mind me. Ahh...found it...yippee, after writing the review.
Thanx Charlie!
