The Chapman Report,you have 2 read it 2 believe it. Review on Chapman Report, The - Irwing Wallace

I’ve done about 17 reviews about cars and bikes up till now out of the 30 odd I’ve written. And looking at my recent trend, I noticed that most of the reviews I’ve written of late have been given a high rating by ME when I initially authored the piece. So now I guess I’ll write a review on something I despise. If there is one thing I hate, it is to leave a book half-read or unfinished. I simply cannot leave it half-read, even though the half I’ve read is absolutely boring and uninteresting. I just have to…..need to….. finish it, even if it means finishing the book…..the way you swallow something undesirable….open your mouth, swallow and gulp it down with a glass of water. That’s pretty much the way I finish a book I don’t like. So when I tell you, or rather I tell myself, that the book, that is the subject matter of my review today has been started by me 5 times over and over again after I simply couldn’t manage to finish it the earlier times I started it, you’ll be wondering what could the subject-matter of this book be, such that I couldn’t even finish the book even after I started it 5 times.

Now, this book by Irving Wallace titled ‘The Chapman Report’ is something of a lead ball wrapped in cotton and slammed onto your groin innumerable times. As soon as I tell you the subject-matter of this book, you’re going to think me, 'your’s truly' has gone crazy that I couldn’t finish the book……You’d be of the opinion that you could read and re-read the book over and over until it gets torn apart. The last part incidentally is what I’m planning to subject the book to…..

Now no more beating around the ‘Bush’ (read on to find out why I typed ‘Bush’ the way I did). The book essentially revolves around 16 (or was it 14) women, their lives, their boyfriends, their marriages. And the only thing that connects all of the above is their Sex Life. Doctor Chapman is a doctor who wants to find out the direct variances and relation between a women’s emotions and the fulfillment of her sexual desires. He actually interviews all the sixteen women and makes them fill out a survey-sheet on what…….Ahhh……makes them achieve orgasm. Then he digs deep into the past lives and childhood of each of the women to uncover if their past has any direct consequences on the sexual fantasies and sexual depravements of women, particulary those who cannot achieve orgasm. The description is vivid, boring, endless and more often than not tends to drift away to the spiritual areas of the human mind. A section of the book essentially deals with what the male does in bed, which makes the woman achieve orgasm….and each of the 16 depict it in glorified details. Worth reading, guys… Huh?…..Not so fast…consider this…all the 16 women have 16 different opinions on what makes them achieve orgasm. So you have a 1/16 chance of striking the correct one, provided 1/16th you choose works with your girl in bed......

The problem with this book is that, for one thing….there are too many women, and that it gets kind of monotonous with the interviewer asking the same questions to all the women. Plus what a women feels when she experiences orgasm and after it, is not really something I’d care to read. Maybe 1….but definitely not 16 accounts of 16 women. Then you have the trivia about 16 women’s past, their fantasies, thoughts and feelings about their husbands/boyfriends romps in bed which more often than not make you feel like you’re the only one around here who’s not getting enough sex.

But seriously speaking, I don’t think I will never ever be able to finish the book because its…..summing it up…..too much of a good thing depicted in a tedious, mind-numbing and monotonous sort of way.

I wont obviously, comment on the ending of the book…..as I don’t know what it is. But if anybody of you, finishes this book…..please leave a comment on this review…..NO…. just call me, will you…..i’ll give you my phone number…..and I’ll pay for the call too…..but will somebody please finish that book….and let me know the ending.

Long Live Dr. Chapman…….He’s the sort of CHAP, who’ll be a deeply-educated MAN when he finally gets the answers he’s looking for and goes home to his wife…..or maybe he’ll divorce his wife and live with one of those 16 women he interviewed. Highest priority to the multiple-orgasmer of course