Feb 24, 2003 09:21 AM
2147 Views
(Updated Feb 24, 2003 09:21 AM)
The sound of the crash was all the more louder in the stillness of the night. The Volkswagen’s windscreen had broken to pieces. The man at the wheel was calling for the doctor in a semiconscious state. His 7-year old son, sleeping on the backseat had toppled between the seats and was unconscious. His wife sitting beside him was quiet. She was dead.
I am going to write my views on that man, who brought up his motherless son in the only way he could- with love. And only I can write about him.
I was that 7-year old.
1980-1998
This was the time when I saw my father as the strongest man on earth. Inspite of living far away from me, he was always there to advise me in a problem, shield me from possible dangers and love me!
He always wanted me to become an engineer like him. But I had different plans. I joined the Arts faculty instead. My father never stopped me. Midway through, I decided to go in for advertising. He supported me there too. He stood by me in every decision till I finally realized my true aim- music. He never forced me to do what he wanted. Instead, he helped me in realizing what I was best at! He did not change me according to his wishes. Instead, he changed his goals according to my interests.
It was not that I got everything that I wanted. He was harsh at times, for my own good. He had no choice. He had to become both.constantly changing his roles as a strict father and a loving mother. Over these years, while me, my sister and my brother grew up, he had to work all alone in a remote place in Nigeria. He will be retiring next month. It is not a joke when you have to stay all alone for 23 years, with nothing but the memories of a dead wife and three children who are far away from you.
1998
I got married in 1998. My father entered his sixties.
HOW TO CARE
Today, when I think about the above question, the only guideline I can give you is drawn from the way my father cared for us. Just love your parents.the way they have loved you. Selflessly, unconditionally!
In the evening of life, when their bodies are not as strong as they used to be, all they need is to feel wanted. No matter how busy you are, take out quality and quantity time to talk with them. Joke with them. Tell them how much they mean to you. Do not degrade them.
I remember a line I read somewhere- Jesus Christ was perhaps the only child who knew more than his parents. Yet.he obeyed them.
Always remember, after sixty, even a small thing may hurt them. I remember a person who felt insulted just because his married daughter called his son-in-law in some inside room to talk something privately. The old man felt bad that his own daughter treated him as an outsider.
If you ask me, there was nothing wrong in what the daughter did! But, it was very natural for her father to feel bad. After all, she was his baby!
So be extra careful while dealing with them. Things that may seem perfectly normal to you might sting the old loving hearts.
Another important thing is that you should never ever make them feel like a liability. Make them feel wanted and loved. Snatch every opportunity to show them how much they mean to you.
IN CONCLUSION
My son Rahul is very naughty. He never lets me eat or sleep in peace. Sometimes I really get irritated. But one smile from him does the trick, and I have to give in. Which father can ever be angry on his kid? After all, I am a father!
God has strange ways. Everything that he gives you, he takes back.and everything he takes back is given to you again! The cycle continues.
Whenever I see my 1-year old Rahul, I see my 66-year old Pappa in him. He is as helpless as Rahul, and depends on me for both, physical and emotional support. I never get irritated on Rahul. I am his father, and ready to face any hardships just to see my son smiling. Soon, a time will come, when I will be 66, and Rahul will have to do all those things that I am doing for him.without getting irritated. And if he doesn't, I cannot complain!*
Your parents cannot complain too! So love them the way they loved you.they deserve it!
