Before I write this review I wish to share this awesome experience which I am sure, some of us who are parents, would empathize with me.
I wrote this in my scrap book when Micky, my son, was few months old .
'As my son stood up on his wobbly legs
Desperately trying to balance himself
reached out with his unsteady hands & caught my finger,
Flashed out a toothless smile at me …
That instance I remembered you Mom & Papa.
I felt your absence so much!
I still feel it .
I realized what I meant to you.
More importantly …
What you mean to me!
I Love you Mom.
I Love you Papa.'
It in fact dawned on me, only then, what it feels like to be a ‘ father ’! I realized that I too was my papa’s Micky!
Our parents are our only relations who are irreplaceable!
Strangely very many of us realize this very late in our lives. We may have different brothers, sisters, friends, relatives, wives & even children. But we can only have one father & one mother.
`
At the very outset one should understand that there can not be one single, common formula for caring for aging parents. After all they are different individuals with different personalities, different traits & more importantly different needs. One must also remember that all these ‘ needs ’ will change, as they grow old. Therefore what is applicable when they are sixty will obviously be different from when they are say, Eighty!
If we were to categorize then there would be 2 types of caring . Physical & Emotional.
Most of us do the “ Physical ” caring bit, very well . What we tend to overlook at times is the “ Emotional ” part.
This to me is THE MOST IMPORTANT part.
One element of caring, which is applicable to them at all ages, is “ LOVE ”.
We should necessarily be extravagant in showing our love & affection towards our parents.
After all, they are no misers when they love us!
My mom pretends to be very hassled when I give her a tight hug & plant a kiss on her cheek .
But I know, for sure, within her heart, she is delighted! The twinkle in her eyes gives it all away! No matter how old I am, no matter what status I acquire, for my mom I am still & will ever remain her'lil Goutom'
Take time out to simply talk to them … better still laugh with them .
Often, because of our extremely hectic schedules, we forget to talk to them! We tend to forget that they become very lonely, not necessarily alone. They need someone to talk to. It is, as in my case, even worse if they have lost their partner. I can see the loneliness in my mom’s eyes.
Whenever my Mom stays with me, I try to spend some time with her in the evenings when I get back from work. Generally chatting with her, reminding her of incidents(some very funny & some very fond memories) which happened when I was a youngster & more importantly, happened, when my Papa was alive. With squinted eyes, staring at nothing in particular, with a smile on her face, my Ma would vicariously re-live the entire incident. I also share with her unimportant details of just about anything to do with my life . I also understand that some of these information makes absolutely no sense to her, yet she would sagaciously nod her head in trying to decipher all that I was telling her.
She feels important & respected.
She feels loved.
Never ever be disrespectful towards them . Never hurt their feelings.
We will perhaps never get to know the sacrifices they would have made to bring us up. We are alive & kicking because of them.
Small gestures help. Gestures for e.g. taking them out for a walk, occasionally bringing small gifts just to show how much you appreciate & acknowledge their love & affection towards you, seeking their advice on certain issues.
They feel cared for & loved.
`
I haven’t seen God, but my parents come closest to God.
Just to quote 2 very famous Sanskrit Slokas:
Janani Janmabhoomischay, Swargadapi gariyasi:
Translated: Mother & Motherland is placed at a higher pedestal than “ Heaven / Paradise ”
** Pita swarga
Pita dharma,
Pita hi Paramang Tapo
Pitori pritima pannay.
Priyantay sarva devata**:
Translated:In this sloka the ‘ Father ’ is compared to Heaven & Religion. He is placed at a higher pedestal than all Gods combined.
