All my life, among the things that have made me laugh the most, the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip series by Bill Watterson is one of my all-time favourites. The daily adventures of Calvin have provided such mirth and stomach-grabbing, sides-aching laughter that it is difficult to imagine anything that could ever replace it as entertainer par excellence!
If granted, I would love to embark on a journey into the brain of this author to try and understand how he could ever manage to spew out such an amazing number of original, atrociously rib-tickling laff-a-minute entertainers that leave us literally gasping for more!
The primary characters:
For those who haven’t heard of him, Calvin is this energetic, skinny little typical American 8-year-old kid with an awesome attitude! His spiky hair, hyperactive disposition and over-mature wit stand him out as a kid everyone will love to read about, but would give their eye-tooth not to have!!!
Calvin’s dad is the average bespectacled guy leading an average life. His laconic calm belies two revelations – his understanding of Calvin (amazing task, that), and his capability to consistently beat Calvin in the latter’s own mind-game, spouting utter lies with careless impunity in order to keep his son in check!
Calvin’s mom is the all-suffering lady who has to try and make sense of her son. Having to put up with his antics for a longer period than anyone else, she bears the brunt of his experiments with life!
Hobbes is the name Calvin has given his stuffed tiger that only comes alive when they are alone. Hobbes kind of plays the role of Calvin’s alter-ego, his playmate, his friend, philosopher and guide who is as clueless as he is on worldly matters! Together with Hobbes, Calvin forms his club G.R.O.S.S., or Get Rid Of Slimy girlS!
Susie is the neighbourhood li’l girl that Calvin loves to hate! She is also his classmate. So Calvin copies her homework, asks her (in hoarse whispers) answers to questions his teacher unfailingly throws on him; yet fountains ink on her, refuses to play with her (choosing instead to play President and Emperor of G.R.O.S.S. with Hobbes on a tree-house), and never ever misses a chance to smack her with a snowball! There is a classic Sunday cartoon where Calvin receives a valentine card from her (actually meant for Hobbes!), gets teased incorrigibly by Hobbes about it:
“Calvin and Susie,
Sitting on a Treeeeee;
Kay Eye Ess Ess
Eye Enn Gee!!!”
and throws a scathing fit when he sees her next. He wonders if he could complain to the Post Master General about it, and says something to the effect of “Get away from me! Girls are slimy! Eww! Yuk!”
Other regulars include Calvin’s school teacher Mrs. Wormwood, his nerdy classmate and the bully in his class. The bully is a (relatively) huge fat kid who picks up Calvin against the lockers, aims a punch and asks, “Hey Twinky! Want to see if there’s an after-life?”
Calvin’s World:
Calvin dreams a lot – during sleep and during the day (in class, while doing homework, etc). He lives in an imaginary world of his own – sometimes changing to ‘Stupendous Man’ (wearing a cape and all and going ‘Bum ba ba daa dum, bum ba ba daa dum’!), sometimes growing bigger than the earth, sometimes ‘reversing polar gravity’ (and getting stuck to the ceiling), and so on! All these abnormalities ‘occur’ to him only when he’s alone and disappear the moment another human walks in!
Obviously it’s all fantasy. But one is amazed how easily the author transports readers into a different world with just a few lines of ink in just a few boxes.
A major part of his dreams are made up of dinosaurs! He knows the names of the most obscure dinosaur, and loves visiting the dinosaur museum again and again. Sometimes in his dreams he becomes a stegosaurus, sometimes a velociraptor, sometimes a flying cousin of the dinosaur.
Watterson’s comics on Calvin’s snowmen could fill a few books! Depicting sometimes dramatically realistic sculptures, and sometimes atrociously frightening bizarre bodies, snowman episodes of Calvin are an awesome hit! Sometimes his “Calvin’s House of Horror” – populated by ghastly freaks and aberrations – make his poor mom jump right out of her skin!
Then there are times when Calvin imagines his parents to be outer-space aliens hell-bent on enslaving him! Looking absolutely freaky and possessing weapons ranging from laser guns to trishuls, Calvin’s imagined mom and dad spout things like “Don’t let the human scum get away!”
And amongst all these extreme funnies, once in a while, Watterson comes up with some truly warm episodes. Like Calvin cosying up to his tiger’s stomach in front of the fire, Calvin and his dad playing in the snow for hours on a holiday, and so on. This more than proves that the author is not a freak; he’s a genuine person with a warm heart, attempting to generate nothing but goodwill in the readers’ hearts.
Some absolute gems:
Coming to the bus-stop with a king-sized grouchy face, reacting laconically to the (initially) cheerful Susie, and then successfully passing on the grouch to her, “The best thing about a bad mood is that it is infectious!”
Sitting with Hobbes on a tree branch overhanging a river and watching a dazzling sunset, “I’m sure we must be missing some great shows on TV.”
Calvin’s dad gives an absolutely fantastic but patently wrong and misleading reply to an innocent ‘child’ question by Calvin. On being asked how he knew so much, “It’s all there in the book they give you when you become a dad.”
Calvin: “Why do I have to wear these dorky clothes and get my hair combed?”
Mom: “So that we can take your photo and send it with the Christmas card to everyone.”
Calvin: “What a dumb idea! Why would we want to do that?!”
Mom: “So everyone knows what you look like now.”
Dad: “So everyone keeps well away and doesn’t come visiting!”
Susie: “I’m not playing with you”, when Calvin invents a game of generating and discharging the grossest possible spit ball, and actually demonstrates it!!!
To Hobbes, in front of the exhibit of a sabre-toothed tiger at the Dinosaur museum, “This is your ancestor. Notice those funny protruding teeth up front. This guy must’ve been a big hit in the jungle; whenever anyone needed a can opened, they would’ve kept it under his face and banged him on the head! Ha ha ha! (Grimacing with his teeth out) They pwobabby dooked wike diff!”
Trembling in a scowling Hobbes’ hands thereafter, “Er… I’m sure they were the epitome of evolutionary excellence…”
