THE BULL THAT GAVE ME HORNS. Review on Bullet Electra

I saw this Bullet guy overtake me when I was on my 100cc bike(Happened 2 years ago) and the incident frightened me to an extent that I was in the Bullet showroom the very next day and started staring at a beautiful Red Bullet Electra. I immediately realised that the thing in front of me is so magnetic that I just cannot keep my eyes off, the best part where the machine breathes was still to come though. All routines followed, Sold off my bike, bought this one for Rs 75,600, din't like the subdued noise it made(The new ones come with real silencers), threw the silencer away, fitted a retro-fit silencer for another 800 and started discovering what Life is all about.

Soon as you(''YOU'' is used all along to generate the feel, please don't take it in literal sense, it's always ''ME'') start riding it, the first thing you notice is that you are heavier by a tonne because your EGO had swallowed the Everest. It is such a macho feeling, you will feel, think and believe that you are capable of anything. The world around looks you, loves your bike and respects you for bringing it to the road. Kids look at you in admiration, Police never stop you, irate drivers don't blow horns at you, all the plasticy cars keep away from you and Auto's make way for you.

And thats just the start of it, you can control everyone around you, Autos, Traffic rule breakers, angrily stare at them and get them doing the right thing, thats the thing about Bullet, it gives you HORNS. Take a ride when you are bored of life, it will remind you your responsibilities, it will tell you what use EGO is.

And there is the thing about its abilities, it doesn't start easily, it scares you in corners, it doesn't brake, it is a Petroholic and the most un-reliable hammer that you have ever come across, but so are girl-friends. You can never adjust to it and let your brain do the driving automatically. You have to constantly keep concentrating to keep things under control. You will love that too because ''You are never interested in things that you already control, but you always make plans to control interesting things''.

Its a huge bike, 175Kgs of steel and chrome and it doesn't have the right brakes, even the disk brake faded away very early. With the kind of momentum it is capable of it surely needs sure stoppers or you be ready to bull-run the rest of the world. I even thought about Patenting a braking system for the Bullet, but now that mouthshut had given me so many friends I am gonna let the secret out. The plan is like this, you hire yourselves a guy who owns a 150cc bike and you attach a sensor+transmitter to his brake, now you fix the receiver+actuator to your brake so that when ever he brakes your bike brakes too. Now, stay 100 Meters behind him all the time and you are safe. Hahahahaha, don't get emotional and try overtaking him though. Remember, 100 Meters, not an inch less than that, Hahahahaha.

At the beginning, I had a tough time adjusting to the harmonics of starting the bike, it stops at the traffic signals because you have twisted the accelerator at the wrong stroke or whatever, and with all the people blasting you with words, horns and sirens, the pressure doubles, and there is no use kicking madly because it would not start, may be it just feels like an employee getting scolded by his boss. It is so human although it is made of metal. What I learnt ''The best thing to do is to say myselves ''This thing ain't gonna start if I am out of my senses'', ''Calm yourselves, shut your ears and open your mind, pat it on the petrol tank, smoothly kick while De-Compressing and then give the kickrod a serious whack'', and off it fires''. You see, that much amount of PHILOSOPHY goes into just starting the thing, it really does teach you that to handle the pressure situations you need to ''STAY CALM AND STICK TO THE BASICS'', I wish everyone in the Indian Cricket team drove a Bullet too.

Now there is the 2005 model equipped with an Electric start, I have seen it, but somehow I felt it un-inspiring. This thing is gonna start quicker, but it will not teach you ''PHILOSOPHY''. When I buy my next Bullet in 2050(I am sure the one that I have now is gonna last that long, although am not sure if I am gonna last, hehehe), I would be looking for that model where they adjust the battery needle before they start, as they say ''Its the Journey that is important, not the Destination''.

Many people traffic-talk to me on the road and ask me about its mileage or the top speed, and when I answer, they say ''ONLY THAT MUCH, WHY DID YOU BRING THE BIKE FOR?'', my response would always be ''FOR THE NOISE IT MAKES''. Its no lie, if GOD ever spoke to you He probably would be using the same tone as well. It is that DIVINE.

Sometime in future when the world does not need anymore embedded software and I start Farming, which of-course is the ultimate goal of my life, I would stick this engine to the water pump of my fields. And there I will be, doing my favourite job and listening to my favourite thumping music.

There are Motorcycles that are fuel-efficient, fast-going, good-handling, sporty-looking AND there is THE BULLET, the one and only of its kind. Nothing compares to GOD and so does nothing compare to a BULLET.

I could have written this review a long time ago, had to wait for the 20,000Kms of driving just to make sure I wasn't INFATUATED but am actually in LOVE. I had written other reviews in the past, but this is no review, this is a LOVE STORY, probably something that happens once in a lifetime and THIS BULL is eagerly waiting for your comments.

Nani