''Let the Sense Prevail''
cticize 2003 A.D.
It took me 2 hours & some extra minutes to realize that What kind of person am I?, but yes I some how figured out that:
::I am a freaked out jelly fish whose mind now has been clobbered very brutally & settled down on some frothy ROCK BOTTOM of an abandoned sea.
::I am mentally impoverished person who is in no position whatsoever to choose what is good & what is dismal.
:: ''Sense'' for me is the days gone by of the glorious past that was.
Introduction to Misery
Me & my man for the job aka my Cousin as usual pumped in some mental energy, food of tolerance & patience to watch this BOOM at Indian Celluloid. As usual with me - catastrophes strike in small Disguised Proportions, we went out to the only Multiplex here & seeing the Serpentine Lineups outside the theatres, majority consisting of male folks gave us the impression as if we are entering in to watch some soft star studded po**o flick. Tx to my cousin’s proactivity we had advanced booked ourselves to this not known debacle. With utmost sense of pride we both thumped ourselves in front of all of them, I was feeling like Elite, i.e. few who have the pleasure of not getting themselves in the cobweb of getting Tickets in Current Booking.
What’s! The Misery
Hats off to you all for sticking your eyeballs up to this length in this Review & your hopes that I will give u a preface or an glossy insight into this “Chic Flick”,
Why I call this movie that… simple! Read on for the“Essence of Story”(If it has to be that way”) .
True sense of Misery
Three Hot, Dumb, Dressed less than a Beggar, Teakwoodmaterial Models namely Anu <<Madhu Sapre>>, Sheila <<Padma Lakshmi>> and Rina <<Katrina Kaif>> are well known models but to there woes they Goof up the choreographed steps on Ramp itself, in the chaos they fall badly on the ramp for everyone’s embarrassment & so does the Expensive & precious diamonds studded in there hair. This all does not go well with the Notorious Underworld Trio of Abdul (Jackie Shroff), Saleem (Gulshan Grover) & 6’2” towering white dressed with suited name Bade Mia (AB) coz they want these diamonds back at any cost, What follows is the scuffle between Gangster Trio & Outfit Starved Chic’ Trio. So go Boom Boom.
My Description of this Misery
What could have been a very interesting, crisp & tight plot was turned into an ultimate Neutralizer! due to Screenplay, Direction & Performances that wont even evoke an acute sense of pleasure or entertainment. If you were terrified by the Dons & gung ho criminals of Underworld Fraternity being fantastically portrayed by likes of Ramgopal Varma(Satya, Company), Mahesh Manjrekar (Vaastav) well then keep all those thoughts locked safely at your vicinity coz what will you see in this movie are not DONS or any way near to it.
These people are:
1)Sacked out mental cases from Agra’s world famous Mental Asylum.
2)They Frown as if their intelligence is unexplored and kept somewhere in there upper right jaw.
3)They can easily replace some freaked out, circuit blown Laboratory Monkeys for carrying out insane tests that Why on earth some humans THINK.?
Non Performance Misery
::AB Sorry mates I won’t even give him a mention & I request you all to forgive AB for whatever screen presence he gave for this bozo of a movie, Mr. B I would suggest you to better relaunch your son’s sagging career by making some Alien / Sci-Fi movie.
::Jackie You are better accompanying Mithun Da in his some logic prevalent movies rather then enjoying your Secretary’s B Job, To heck with the movie , I think Jackie dada had some great oozes teasing his Male Libido being 40+
::Gulshan BAD Grover Why in the first place I am talking about him, coz he has one of the pivotal roles of lunacy in the movie. What a CRAP!
:: Jaaved Jaffery You better judge dance performers Boogin & Woogin rather than Making Cheap & Obscene gestures putting tables of shame to even the Front Benchers.
:: 3 Skin FEST Delicacies Katrina Kaif has a better shelf life being a model rather then a actress. Padma Laxmi’s stints to express herself looks like a Burn out LPG cylinder trying to ooze fire to cook. Madhu Sapre well I give her a big Chiiiiii!
Zeenat Aman makes a comeback & is a sheer Wastage of Ayesha Shroff’s (Producer) money & Bo-DEREK has nothing but a less than a minute gesture as If she’s was shot by the camera while she was sun bathing on the beach unknowingly.
::Director Kaizad Gustad has always given me an impression of a mad stripper who is raring to undress as if he is forcefully being told to dress up. Don’t even expect me to give some rating to his Direction Pathetic
Saving Grace of this movie
1)Background Score & Tremendous Acoustics
2)The song “Mundiya to Bach ke rahi”
3)Tremendous Sets & Locales.
Out of Misery
We came out of the multiplex , silence between me & my cousin was looming larger then the noises of disbelief that other poor cinegoers produced. As it was my idea in first place to watch this flick. Good Fortune for us as we saw Mithun Da’s torn movie poster just outside the m-plex & we said with a mute to ourselves.
“Let the sense Prevail”
forgot to mention my Cousin in this thought
B.O. Stats about the Misery:
Budget:: Rs. 16 Crores (Inclusive of Rs. 3 crore as AB's pay check)
Released with:: 300 Prints in India & 150 Prints Overseas
Sold at:: Rs.1 crore/territory
NEWCollections:: It has Crashed to only 60% Theatrical Collections in the First Week collecting a mere 7.12 cr. (Approx)
Although it crashed badly but still managed a monster Opening!!If it had sustained the Initial, the collections would have outshined KMG.
Trade Note:: Has opened to 90% collections for the first 2 days but collection came crashing down from Sunday only due to bad revs & availability of Pirated VCD/DVDs even before release.
Definitely a loosing proposition for all the parties involved
Bye
Pras
© cticize 2003
