SKIN....NY AFFAIR. Review on Andaaz - New

''Let's go for a movie'' said my boss and all of us were game for it. So we went for this phenomenon called Andaaz.. In the sweltering heat of Mumbai watching a movie in a plush air-conditioned cinema hall was a better idea than shopping which was also an option. After watching this movie I felt like killing my boss and holding my colleagues as hostages. Not because my boss didn't grant me a leave or was abusive but because I would have preferred shopping in some crowded street rather than bearing this torture called Andaaz

Being the sadist that I am, I thought of writing about Andaaz. You know friends; I derive some kind of sardonic pleasure when people read such claptrap :)

WARNING:- If you go for the movie without reading further there could be serious reverberations. Death is not ruled out. (that's a hyperbole)

I thought I believed in premonition but after watching this movie I am confident of my power of clairvoyance. Let me encapsulate the incidents of the film in a nutshell.( In detail if you permit)

SCENE1:-

A Crippled boy is shunned by his mates because of the crutches which are his support system. Enters Kajal, who is obsessed with Aeroplanes. (Why didn't she study aeronautical engineering or become a pilot.) Well she wanted to marry a pilot. Smart girl!

SCENE 2:-

A skating rink (Not a rink actually)Kajal eggs on the handicapped boy to skate. Enter some bullies who mock at Raj. Now this melodramatic realisation dawns upon Raj after being coaxed by Kajal. He starts skating....oh running and the crutches take to pieces. He is cured. I predict that Raj will grow up while running and that's what happens. We are transported to 10 yrs in future. Our hero now bends the ball like Beckham.And what do we see. Kajal is transformed into a sexy titillating heroine, that is Lara Dutta for you.

SCENE 3:-

After some out of the context dream sequences at the air force training centre Raj(Akshay Kumar)realises that he is head over heels in love with his childhood friend. But since he is a gentleman he lets the lady speak first who proclaims her love for this hotshot Aman verma. The stone statue at my place is more racy and energetic than Aman verma's wooden face.

SCENE 4:-

Lara gets married to Aman and Akshay drown in his sorrows for ever. Then comes the kahani mein twist, Priyanka chopra a.k.a jia, an other nymph who falls for Akshay. Lot of poverty in the movie (scarcity of clothes you see) . I must admit that I liked her in the drunken scene.

SCENE 5:-

Akshay tries to be like Tom cruise in Top gun but fails. After he is pestered by his Bhaaiya and bhabhi he agrees to marry priyanka. He goes to visit her family and what happens next is more dramatic than a cliff-hanger story :) The late Aman Verma was priyanka’s brother and so Lara is her sis -in- law. Bechara akshay is in such a conundrum. Two beauties. One choice.

I get a hint of Alzheimer's because I just can't remember the songs. Johnny lever looked straight out of some slapstick comedy . Sorry folks!

FINAL SCENE:- lara who is not in a stable condition recuperates soon after meeting her best friend.. At a party Lara wears a coloured outfit defying the rules of the society that a widow mustn't flout. She takes enough flak from the crowd until our hero interrupts and dramatically sprinkles some vermilion on her forehead ( now where did all that sindoor nicely arranged in a thali come from) The two are now tied in an unbreakable knot of matrimony. True love or childhood love succeeds. Happy ending. Audience clapping. Curtains down. Full stop.

MY SCENE OUTSIDE THE CINEMA HALL:-

Friends, Msians and country men, What I want to know is , ''Why were college students either shown devouring scrumptious delicacies at the canteen or rehearsing for a drama.?''. But tomorrow will be another day and the sun will rise and I have to engage a lecture. But mind you this movie is not a love triangle but a parallelogram or a rhombus perhaps because so many themes from other movies run parallel to it. ( kuchkuchhotahai, dil to pagal hai , top gun et al)And my thoughts don't seem to be parallel because I am not in my senses.