Sewage Packaged in a Christian Dior Handbag !. Review on Aisha

19th November**2007 was indeed a sad day for Indian cinema. Coz that was the day when Bollywood was invaded by 2 non-actors. 2 girls destined to have a super fan following, to have a super pretty image and 2 have a plethora of movies in their bags. That they could not act was apparent from day one; but the fact that they cannot act till date, is worrisome for the future of Indian cinema. They reaffirm the fact that Female Actors in Bollywood just need cute faces, awesome figures and teensy but fashionable clothes – and nothing else. And that’s the sad fact.

If you are still wondering what happened on 9th November 2007, then let me inform you that that was the unfortunate day when “Saawariya” and “Om Shanti Om” were released! That was the day the 2 lean, tall and beautiful Aliens – Sonam Kapoor and Deepika Padukone landed on Planet Bollywood. They looked like angels, but sure were Alien to the concept of Acting and they still are!

And so I come to Aisha, where Crores were pumped in - to have the most fashionable brands, to have the most fashionable looks, to have the most prim and proper house, to have an awesome online / outdoor AD campaign, so on and so fashionable; but not an iota of brain was applied to the script, the screenplay. And to top it all, they had Sonam Kapoor in the TITLE ROLE! Women Centric films are rare in Bollywood, and to think that Sonam Kapoor could bag a title role in one is a huge deal. Coz crores rode on her potential. But unfortunately there is no potential; by god, there is no hope!

Aisha is one of the most clichéd movies of the decade. Infact it massacres an age old Classic Novel “EMMA”. But come to think of it, some books should never be adapted, coz they are black holes of Clichés. Aisha is about this girl who makes everyone’s business, her business. She is more concerned about who is going out with whom, than what she is going to do with her life. Then there is Arjun, her best friend and nemesis. His motto in life is to keep telling Aisha not to meddle in other’s affairs. Things go wrong when Aisha tries to set up a cute village girl with guys from the elite class of Delhi. Aisha does not believe in stooping to the middle class level and is arrogant, self centered and snooty. Finally Arjun makes her realize how shallow she is, and things go right back into their proper places.

Aisha has an extraordinarily lame script. Dialogues are written for BIMBO’s. Scenes are sketchily written and there are innumerable 30 second inserts in the film to make the next scene palpable. As per convenience, relationships are made and broken in the matter of seconds. There is no depth. The script is asSHALLOWas the lead character. There is no depth to the emotions, to the dialogues.

Unfortunately even if the dialogues had depth, the delivery would have murdered it anyways! Sonam Kapoor starts blabbering from Scene 1 and keeps up her nonsense throughout. Her voice is as irritating as her inability to act. She had shown ample measure of herself in “I Hate Luv Storys” and she reaffirms herself as a Cardboard box. And this proves that parents do turn a blind eye to their child’s weaknesses. Either Anil Kapoor has forgotten what acting is, or his thinking is really clouded by the paternal love or he too busy trying to make a Hollywood career! Cyrus Sahukar, Amrita Puri are the saving graces in the acting department. Ira Dubey and Abhay Deol also give a decent account of themselves.

The Music is decent, but alas, the “heppiest” track “Gal Mitthey Mitthey Bol” comes when everybody just wants to get out of the theater. The aesthetic department is well looked after, but some costumes look straight out of a circus(as pointed out in the film itself!) or some horror serial!The only thing director "Rajshree Ojha" gets right is the character of Amrita Puri. This debutant director really needs to focus on STRONG writing henceforth.

I would like to copy paste my last para for “I hate Luv Storys” here and say that if you stay closer than a km to a theater where Aisha is playing – consider moving! It is nothing butSewagepackaged in a “Christian Dior” hand bag! No matter how pretty it looks - > it stinks!

Rating: 3 / 10

P.S: What I really think about the film, sounds like "AISHA GO"!