Sulaane Ka Waqt. Review on 40528

The sun was hanging in the sky to spend the last few minutes the occasional (smoked?) duck that flew over the city of Pune. I was in another bus, a Volvo make, airconditioned and equipped with air suspension, and this bus had begun to pick up momentum. The city was behind us and we were now speeding towards Ahmednagar, our lives hanging precariously on the shoulders of the guy driving the bus.

I was beginning to get a feeling of being in a lock up: claustrophobia, a sick feeling in my stomach- a result of a heavy lunch at a shoddy place- and the constant fear that our driver had fallen in love with the on-coming traffic (someone give him a good hug). As these things were about to get the better of me, and put me into something worse than a Chhapra polling booth, I heard the sound- the call of the messiah.

The TV was switched on. A movie was being shown and it would provide some diversion for my horrified mind. A sort of a hope began rising in me that the cleaner would have the mercy to show a movie that has some genuine humour, or some exciting action.

My hope was about to be shattered. The banner read:

''16th December''.

Co-incidentally, that was the exact date when this event occurred.

The movie ended when we were thirty kilometers ahead of Ahmednagar. Somehow, miraculously, even after having seen the entire movie, I could muster the strength to pull out my laptop and begin writing on the movie (yes I wrote on things before I joined MouthShut- I wrote it for a school monthly).

16th December- a review

Some movies are made with a purpose. Most of such movies announce that purpose before they announce themselves. While some movies are more subtle in their announcement. Let me try and unravel the mystery behind the purpose of 16th December in this review. But first, let us review the movie itself.

I believe that a good plot, a cast of actors that fit perfectly in that plot, a good use of music and special effects and a sensible depiction of the love affairs of the lead character- these are the things that make a good movie. Did 16th December have all that?

16th December- as a plot

What is this movie all about? It's about a bunch of spies for the RAW, researching the activities of terrorist groups, a Pakistani former-general on a vendetta of a patriotic sort, an unlikely informant, and a brat who looks like he can't spell ''computer'' put together with a gawdy dash of patriotism and an overdone effort at showing modern-age equipment. Well that leaves me in a problem of how to continue the review.

The story of this movie is predictable- you can predict what it is with just this knowledge. It starts with the RAW learning about the voluminous money transactions that a particular group of unlikely people are engaged in. Then, how each one of them is nicked off by whoever it is. Then it is followed by a neuclear threat to the capital of India, the mastermind being a Pakistani General who had to surrender to India in 1972.

You could find a dozen of such movies.

The movie in general:

It's a typical Bollywood movie. In a particular part of the scene, one of our patriots is caught amid a bunch of shooters in the health spa of a college. He takes at least five shots inside of him. But survives till he's nicked off every single one of those shooters. The funny thing is, his adversaries pack up their clogs with just one shot. That's all.

A typicall Bollywood movie is therefore a justified description.

The makers of 16th December tried to add a little spice to the movie, a lame attempt at that. It's just that the team of RAW shows signs of internal suspicion and disbelief which is all. But it gets over very soon.

It's all about: maine tarazu ki ek bazoo mein meri jaan ko or doosri bazoo main mere desh ko tola? aur maine apne jaan ko halka paya.. In a very soppy and unnatural manner.

Being patriotic is not a vice for a movie. It's how the members of the cast make a mess of it that characterizes the vice. Which brings us to think about?

16th December ? the actors

Milind Soman and gang to begin with is a bunch of mediocre actors, no doubting that. Ask a guy to play the role of a die-hard, never-say-lie patiot, and even Hrithik Roshan makes a mess of it. Comparisons with Soman and Roshan are justified, of course. But Soman has made a worse mess of his job than Hrithik would (hypothetically) have.

I didn't bother to remember the names of the other guys at all. They weren't worth remembering either, were they?

I still believe that Nana Patekar does a far superior job compared to anyone whosoever. You see, even Amitabh Bacchan can't do what he can. Bacchan has a restricted capability- he can play just an angry-young-man, and now that he's past sixty, he does the not-so-angry-old-man. Bit it's almost the same. Patekar is the truly versatile, the truly natural fellow (and yeah I'm a Patekar PSPO).

Anyways, that's all for this movie.

As an afterthought

Now, let us try to unravel the purpose of the movie.

The plot was dull, the action irritating, the cast mediocre. Yet, inspite of the clautropobia and the constant sense of foreboding owing to our driver's liking for risk, I was writing. Then I slept a good night's sleep in a moving bus.

The only purpose was this? the makers had realized one thing?

Viewers ko sulane ka waqt aa gaya hain?