36 china frown. Review on 36 China Town

I'm not one of those people who rushes to a theatre on Friday evenings to catch the latest releases . But 36 China town was supposed to be a suspense movie and I didn't want sms messages from my so-called friends to ruin the suspense of the movie before actually seeing it . Besides , it was an Abbas -Mastan film and they were supposed to masters of suspense . At least , thats the impression I had after watching their Khiladi . That's the only reason I left work 30 mins early on Friday to catch the flick . What a mistake !!! and such a waste of time & money .There's only one world to describe the movie ..''Crap'' .

The flimsy plot is about a rich woman who owns a casino ( Isha Kopikar …the lady can’t act for peanuts…..Check out the scene when she hears that her only child who has been missing for the past few days has been found ….) and is murdered for some reason . Shahid and Kareena are at the murder spot at the wrong time and are promptly arrested . The rest of the film is about the various other suspects and how the inspector played by Akshaye Khanna succeeds in solving the mystery .

So who are these other suspects :

1) There’s a supposed playboy (upen patel in an obviously dubbed voice , who walks around as if he’s still on the ramp …. Dude !! ur not a model here , you are in a movie , learn some acting !!!) who cracks corny jokes and mouths cliched pickup lines … that you wonder whether he would actually succeed in picking up anyone with those lines

2) There’s Paresh Rawal who has lost all his money on gambling and his wife Payal (cleavage) Rohatgi who has apparently sudhaarofied him from his vice . For some weird reason , he insists on calling his wife Devi ….or is that her name? what the heck ..who cares??

3)There’s johnny lever who has got some sort of miracle dice from some baba which is supposed to make him win at the casino . He wins a lot of money on the day of the murder . His wife is played by Tanaaz Currim ( another pathetic actor ….and so irritating!!) who also ends up winning some money in the casino

4)then there are other characters like the local drunkard , the staff of Isha’s house etc etc

They say that one rotten apple spoils the entire basket . There are so many rotten apples ( Upen, Isha ,payal , ,tanaaz) in this movie that even the good ones (paresh , johnny,Akshay,Kareena) cant save the basket . I cant imagine why these people agreed to act in this piece of crap . There’s one scene where Paresh Rawal is seen coming out of the swimming pool in his underwear. One of my friends claims that even his bu** crack was visible ….now whats the need for such a respected senior actor to do such a scene ???? its beyond me … Shahid Kapur seems to have been on an extra dosage of caffeine throughout the movie . And the music …………………….the less said about it ,the better . only the first song has some hint of rhythm in it . All the rest neither have a tune nor have any appeal .

By the time the movie is about to reach its conclusion , we were so bummed ,that it didn’t really matter who killed Isha . The only mystery for us was , What were Abbas-Mastan thinking when they made this load of t.