I have been member of MS for several months already but it is only now that I have taken it a little seriously (with a lot of pushing and prodding from mom hahah). I started out with few photos and up to now I have not yet decide on what to write (writers block? hmmm). Then,today, I came across some of the things I write when I go crazy with work, life, love???? hahaha...
Anyhoo, the mood of the writings are a little bleak but somehow I found solace and entertainment on them, looking back to what I've written late October of 2005.
Its not really diary but just ramblings of a perfectly insane being... LOL...
Here it goes...
when a pathetic person becomes extremely miserable the result is.......
i miss you I miss you I miss you do I really miss you??
damn it if I do and damn it if I dont!! I like you and yet I dont!!!
where am I to go when life gave me no choice but to simply be hurt???
why are we often given choices when in reality there's actually none!!!
we dont really have a choice!! our life has been pre-made and baked to perfection without us ever trying to do anything at all....
we're not really here to decide!! we did not exist to decide but merely to live what has been destined for us to live the moment we drew our first breath ...
the moment our heart decided to beat... it was then that we lost control....
we are only left to go with the tide.... we exist merely to act...
act the role given to us even before our parents ever thought of conceiving us
or maybe even farther back when our parents didnt even start to exist....
the funny thing is we live life as if we own our future....
as if by acting our part we can have a chance to actually change what was plan of us... what was ... TO BE OUR DESTINY...
did we even realize that no matter how much we fight the tide......
no matter how better we try to make out of this life we are mere actors in a play that already has an ending....
we are merely play the part of the script but the story is already there we try to change it by making the stories more colorful.
Making creativeand elaborate editions... recreating ... inventing...
trying to be innovative only to be left beaten in the end.....
what lays ahead of us has already been pre-patterned there's no escaping it ....
there's no escaping life....
we can try to slacken its pace try to make it run slower...
but who are tiring but ourselves....
we can never beat life we can try but its like trying to hit the moon with your sling shot...... they say life is wonderful.....
to live is the most wonderful gift god has given man but they were wrong .... oh couldnt they just be oh so wrong....
and what a slap in their face when at the lowest point of their life it is then they realize how wrong they have been all their life....
hahaha...nothing more humiliating than to be slapped with the truth
that what you have been believing all your life was wrong all along ....
We're nothing but ACTORS!!! and you cry finally succumbing to the fact that life has beaten you to the game that only he is the winner...
and you die a wretched ... miserable....
no one to reach out for you because everyone else are trying to save themselves to the puddle of false hope and pretenses that they thought was true all along .....
and you die.... you die.... a miserable death.....
