As a child I always associated 30 with middle age. My funda was simple – a woman under 30 is ‘Didi’ and over 30 is ‘Aunty’. So when I entered my late 20s the fear of ‘30’ started haunting me.
On my 27th birthday I was like, “Oh 30 is still 3 years away, I am still a youngster”
On my 28th birthday it was, “Gosh I am only 2 years away from 30!”
On the 29th birthday my mind hit the panic button, “Oh my God! One more year and I will be an aunty!”
For me 1st Jan of 2009 was not a ‘Happy New Year’. I was dreading the moment the clock would strike midnight and 2009 would officially begin. Because this was the year I was to turn the much dreaded ‘30’. The dread increased as January passed into February, then March, April, May and then June was there. And I finally turned 30. When somebody asked me how it feels to be 30 my reply was, “Exactly like it felt to be 25”. It was true and I just couldn’t stop grinning while I said it. I finally realized that all my fears were baseless. Nothing has changed! Hell I have never felt better!
As a child I was extremely shy, as a teenager I was a rebel-without-a-cause, and my early 20s were full of financial problems and responsibilities. But now is the time when I am at complete peace with myself. It’s a stage of life where I feel wise but not old. I feel more attractive than I did a few years ago, maybe because I have stopped struggling with my physical appearance and accepted my body for what it is. It’s a great feeling to be comfortable with your own self - mentally, emotionally, physically, creatively, socially. Finally I am in control of my life.
Now I know what people mean when they say age is just a number. Its all in our heads. And hearts. My heart tells me I have never felt more alive!
And the best thing that came out of it is that I am not scared of growing ‘old’ anymore. So bring on the years! I want to experience everything :)
