Long breaks from MS and then back here, I think every writeron this website has such pendulum-like phases. We all move ahead and come back.There is certainly something about it.
The thing that's been pulling me back here over the past few weeks is to checkthe increasing number of comments on my last review (about the Hindi filmGhajini). One review that was hated SO much that I get amazed!
After trying hard to explain what my co-writers misunderstood about it all, Ifinally gave up, and stopped replying to the comments. But it's reallydisheartening, this feeling that the space where my reviews have mostly touchedpeople in a good way, something hurt them so bad.
I have the option of deleting the review all together, but I chose not to doit. Not because I want to act stubborn or make people believe that I amright... No! I can be wrong, I am very wrong many times... but then, what I door say is a part of me... And what has been done, should not be pulled back...instead I should stand by it and try and make what's been spoiled better.
Basically, I wrote it, and I want to keep it... with all the comments and NUsthat I received! :)
This experience did make me believe that MS is closest to life... as close asit can get!
Just like in real life... one step can make or mar ur image at MS. Just like in reality, you canbe misinterpreted, misunderstood, mistaken... Just like in real life, you canbe proud of ashamed of what you did in the near or the far past. Just like inreal life, you can feel good or bad about the same thing at different times.
One more thing... Just like it happens in real life, fame and especially the'*' (denoting you a Star Writer) next to your id, makes you feel like the kingof this planet and this pride often inflates the brains. It happened to me... Isaw it happening to MANY writers here! :)
{Confession: I don't just say it, but I really am a down to earth person inreal life. Circumstances have made it such that each time I have achievedsomething, I have lost more. So the whole 'taking victory to head' has neverhappened to me. Those who know me, or have met me in real life, would know thatI am not the sorts to sit in a side with my chin up and bask in being somesuperstar. I am the more friendly and calm type... who more often than notsurrenders in what the majority says.}
But this time, yes, I was swayed in having this HUGE inflated ego... SOinflated, that for once I felt tizzy in the head. I read the comments thatpeople wrote there, and kept thinking, they are all mad for reacting likethis... UNTIL when I typed out a nasty reply to someone. But half way through,I realised WTF!
Exactly... MS has always been this place where I had so much fun... enjoyed theattention my writing got. The first place where I realised that I couldwrite... and that people could read and understand it... Rather appreciate it!
And see what I was doing with all of this! Lol... Useless! Rot!
Well, I still maintain... I NEVER meant to hurt anyone in my review... I wrote whateverI did as an audience of cinema of all kinds and just compared one with theother and the tastes of one audience to the other. I did not mean to show onedown or the other better. Why would I do something like that? Trust me, I neverwould!
I have full respect for people of all genders, age groups, religion, region,caste, creed, colour, believe and faith! For me, Akisha from Delhiis just as brilliant a person as Reviewer from Bombay,Megs from Delhiwrites just as great as Mags from Chennai, a new star writer or an oldone are both well appreciated... MS still remains a special place!
I apologise to all friends and others whom I hurt by what seemed as my'anti-south Indians' comments. No, I am not anti anything... the review wasvery objective. However, I still don't think I was wrong in my idea of what Iwrote... on going back to the review I think, maybe my choice and framing ofwords and sentences, respectively was wrong.
I hope my date with MS still goes on...
Until we meet again...
Cheers! :)
P.S. - I hope all those who wrote me LONG, and some of them multiple, M2Ms and comments to criticise the review, read this as well.
