Don’t we all love a few swear words? No? Okay then maybe I am a bit weird that way. There are a few swear words I adore – which I use in my mind when I am annoyed with someone. And here I am listing my all-time favourite swear words:-
Captain Haddock’s vocabulary - My first experience with swear words was through the Tintin comics which featured my all-time favourite character Captain Haddock. The most adorable thing about him was that his vocabulary became more colourful as his temper increased. So if a minor irritation brought about a ‘blistering barnacles’ then a major one brought about ‘billions of blistering barnacles’ and an even bigger one resulted in ‘billions of billious barbecued blue blistering barnacles'. Similarly ‘thundering typhoons’ grew to ‘ten thousand thundering typhoons’. Another one I love is Bashi Bozouk - please don’t ask me what it means, I have no idea but I love its sound just like I love his other gems like Cushion-footed Quadrupeds, Dunderheaded Coconuts, Lili-livered Landlubbers, Miserable Molecule of Mildew, Nanny Goat and many many others.
Halkat – I still don’t have a clear idea what it means. It is a Marathi ‘gaali’ only women use for men. I just love its sound – ae halkat! I have tried saying it when I am alone but have not been able to match the lovely Marathi twang that makes it so good to my ears.
Sasur Ke Naati – No offence to Laloo Yadav but whenever I see him I am reminded of this phrase in his voice. When a person calls someone ‘sasur ke naati’, literally it means that he is calling that person ‘son’. But this swear word has nothing to do with paternal love. And that’s what makes it so delicious!
Teri Maa Ki – This one has been made famous by Harbhajan Singh in Australia and Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met. An enlightened soul informed me that it is a short form of ‘Teri Maa Ki Aankh’ but he wasn’t enlightened enough to know what it actually means. If somebody here knows please let me know.
Suar Ke Bachchon – Immortalised by none other than the great Gabbar Singh. The problem is that when I try saying it, it comes out as funny instead of insulting. But Gabbar made even this idiotic sounding swear word sound spine-chilling.
Ullu Ke Khandani – I heard Hema Malini call Johnny Walker this in the movie ‘Raja Jani’ almost two decades back. And today this is all I remember of that movie. Now everybody says ullu ke pathe but ‘ullu ke khandani’ is so much better no?
Haathi Ke Pillay – I heard this one in a tv serial used for a fat guy. Isn’t it a wonderful double-insult?
Mamu – This one was used only for policemen or thullas at one point of time. But the Munnabhai series have made it a free for all. And I am not complaining!
There are many more that I can’t write here for obvious reasons. Swear words have helped me lower my frustrations loads of times. As I said earlier I use them mostly in my mind when I am annoyed with somebody and immediately feel my irritation lessen. If you have any favourite swear words, do share them here :)
