Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
A program is never finished until the programmer dies.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers follow your orders, not your intentions.
Crashing is the only thing windows does quickly.
I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Failure is not an option - it's a lifestyle.
God will forgive me. That's his job, after all.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Live each day as if it were your last because today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Remember: No matter what you are doing, somebody, somewhere has a problem with it.
When you dial 9 to call out of your home, there's a chance you may be working too much.
It's good to explore all of your options before making a stupid decision.
