I was 21 when I realized that there are definitions of one's sexual orientation. I was in Piedmont Park in Atlanta, Georgia for a curriculum project, when I saw two guys kiss. I thought they must be drunk. I could not understand why two guys would kiss. It looked nauseating.
Fast forward 2 months to my desk at the university. My colleague, a graduate research assistant in College of Architecture, asked me the main reason why I chose that university. I explained. I asked him the same question. He said because this university has a 'Gay and Lesbian Organization'. I said what? He repeated. I asked what it was. He said it is a student body for gays and lesbians at the university.
I was shy to ask him what 'gay' and 'lesbian' meant. I looked up on Wikipedia. I was startled that a normal / regular looking person can have a different sexual orientation. Before that, I thought that there were only two breeds. Normal / regular people and eunuchs.
I could not believe that the guy sitting right next to me was attracted to guys. I started feeling a bit insecure, even though he had not tried to do anything to me for almost 6 months.
For next two years, my allergy to homosexuality started to border phobia . I thought why a guy would want to be with another guy when there are so many beautiful girls in this world! I had finished with my education by then. I was in the field now.
I developed great rapport with a project manager on a project where I was a consultant. He and I became buddies. Over a drink at a bar, he opened up and said that he was gay. And that changed my attitude right away. He noticed it. Then he asked me; "Is it my fault that I am gay! I am not gay by choice. This is the way I was born." He asked me if it made any difference if I liked girls and he liked guys!
I asked but why would you want to be with guys? There is something fundamentally wrong with that notion. He elucidated; "Okay, you like to eat Italian food and I like Mexican. Sexual orientation is the same way. You like girls and I like guys. It is one's private affair as to who he sleeps with and why should a person be evaluated and treated based on what he does behind closed doors?"
I pondered over this discussion for quite a few days. His persuasive arguments started to convince me. They changed my mind. Being homosexual is not a crime. Homosexuality does not kill or harm anybody.
In a fairly conservative society like India, homosexuals can feel suffocated. They are forced to marry against their wishes due to societal pressures. It can wreck havoc in several lives. What is even that girl's fault that she should be punished to be in a relationship where her sexual desires are not satisfied? Homosexuality is not a crime, not accepting reality of it is a crime.
