Satark-This is a DP full of narcissism. Sorry, could not help it!
Its next to impossible to be Sajit Nair! I am talking about myself!
I want to be a champion. According to Muhammad Ali "Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, dream and a vision".I have the first two but dont have any vision. So, I prefer a free flow and came across many. If you read my posts, you wont experience "Style".I mean, something like Yash Chopra way of presenting heorines drapped in Chiffon sari -- a noble tradition continued to Aditya Chopra when he presented Kajol (in Chiffon Salwar in DDLJ) ---- I dont have a permanent mark.
I remember Jasmine's wishto reflect your thoughts in DP. Is it possible? Go back to Freud's theory - your innerself is IDhaving all primitive and raw form of emotions which is being sanitised by egoand super ego!In MS majority of us sanitise it again before presenting.
My purpose of being here is simple - It is to relate with others! Others ---- people through out the length and breadth of India and abroad.But why? For me, that is life all about. In this travel, if I am able to touch someone's life in a special way or if I am touced in a special way - Thats my wish!
I am sorry - I am an outsider and will remain as an outsider because I am not with in the system bound by rules and regulations.At the same time, I am not an activist who dont respect this system and advocate for a revolution. Being here demand decorum and I do respect that.
It is Kiranwho exclaimed once - "This is not fare. The more I read you , the more unfamiliar you become. Which is the real you?"
I have given answer to Soniawith out she asking - "I am like water. I will take the shape of the pot".In that process, sometimes I lose myself. When I have almost lost Sajit Nair- I feel like posting review on "Ulysses"(Only a few read so far).
I should admit that, I am obsessed by readership. If you dont read, then why should I write here? If I am not obsessed, I could have typed everything in a notepad and saved it in my lap top!
Two days before, I came across a handsome young man in MS whom I would like to address as a man having spine! I am moved with his way of voicing opinion in the most candid way! I have appreciated him in private and do adore him for his quality. He got something which I lack "Vision"to guide his action.
Once again I got a bit of confidence to be myself when a friend shouted "Why the hell you are obsessed with others when you have to write? Be yourself"
If I become myself (ofcourse sanitising my ID) - I would love to write about the last breath of forgotten musical heritage of India! Have you heard Vrind Gaan, Tappa, Thumri, Vadya Vrind, Lori---- anything of that sort?
Have you ever acknowledged the genius of Sudhendu Roy(Art Director) who lived up to the expectations of realism of Bimal Roy and plushness of Yash Chopra?
Have you ever heard of the grand oldman Russy Modiwho live in Kolkotta and his eccentric tussle with Ratan Tata?
Have you ever heard of Jean Paul Sartreand his works?
Have you been able to relate with the characters of Anton Chekhovever?
Oh well - Its quite difficult to be Sajit Nair.
I may not be able to write about it till when I feel MS is the right platform. I wish, to be guided by the psyche of Mark (DoomsdayM) who is honest enough to write about his tastes. Sometimes, I wonder - he write for me only. Another quality I admire.
It's so easy to be the opposite of Sajit Nair.
In real life also I try it out a lot. I rush to multiplex, make myself laugh watching RNBDJ and will comeout with a smile on my face. Believe me - here also, I am not fake. I tune my mind to another frequency for my pleasure and will soon come out of that.
Will you be able to replace the name Sajit Nairwith your name in this article and put yourself in my shoes? Afterwards, if you think that Sajith Nair = You, I will be surprised. It wont happen. All of us are different and each one is unique.
The only truth remains - I am here to relate with you. Nothing else. I do realise this oflate and thought of sharing it with you. Star, Hall of Fame, FP, FSMSR, ROTD ---- these are no longer my motivation. My only motivation is the the one who travelled with me till now from the first word!
