Before tagging poor me as a narcissistic, idiosyncratic snob purely on the basis of that title, please take your own merry time & answer this simple yet powerfully provocative question –
“When was the last time you felt that somebody or some work - either actor, documentary or film - really, really deserved to win or lose in the annual academy awards popularly known all over the world as THE OSCAR’S.? I mean “really” deserved.?”
The greatest Irony of Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Science is that, even-though it’s the most prestigious/coveted movie award in the whole planet – It’s also the most reprehensible one.!
This is the kind of award show where a jury of elite fraternity members will sit together on a roundtable & do brainstorming & stuff on the who’s who of Hollywood, whilst not even realizing that the nominations they nitpick doesn’t even make it a conclusive selection.!
Every year you feel they’ve made the biggest blooper ever but still they somehow or the other manage to come up with a newer one the year after – reeducating all of us as to how to champion yourself in stupidity & utter insanity all within the time-frame of just 360 ode days.!
In 2008, when Christopher Nolan director of the Batman trilogy made one of the best, most cutting edge motion pictures of the last decade or so called “The Dark Knight” – these people(in my opinion) committed the biggest blunder ever by not nominating that film.
And I know for a fact it’s not me who’s crying wolf out here all alone via this blog but as a testament have a look on the billions of people are out there firmly rooted with me on this one!
This prompted the academy to change the nomination’s list into ten films & then again they commit the same error in 2012 this time around with the third sequel of that movie – The Dark Knight Rises.!
Nolan, being at the receiving end of all these nonsense, lampooned the academy calling them “Genre Haters” whilst admitting to the fact that getting an academy award, after all, is no layman’s job – “Make Batman a Gay or a man with a lisp.?” - he jokingly lamented.
So what makes a tailor-made Oscar material.? Cutting edge technology, Shrewd Screenplay & Supreme artistry over the medium.? NO.! NEVER.!
Your film has to please the Jury as a matter of fact - content vise I MEAN - and if there’s something in the film that doesn’t adhere to this formula – You’re out of the title hunt weeks before you even started scripting the film.!
In the 2008 Steve Carrell spoof comedy titled “Tropic Thunder”; Robert Downey’s character explains to Ben Stiller’s as to why on earth his counterpart’s mentally disabled character(And Academy loves the disabled BTW!) didn’t even get nominated in the coveted best actor nomination when the latter constantly laments at being “missed out” in other words “horribly left out!” from the Big ceremony.
In a Jack Sparrow evocative vaudeville voice – Downey gleefully preaches – “Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump,.! He won a ping-pong competition & charmed the pants of Nixon - that ain’t retarded.! Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man - looks retarded, acts retarded but not retarded.! YOU WENT FULL RETARD MAN.! NEVER GO FULL RETARD.!”
What’s amazing however, is that Downey’s industry-inside jokes not only became an audience darling by default but also got a thoroughly deserved supporting award nomination.! Yeah! Despite making fun of the academy themselves. Hey Yo! I’d say the odds are good.
What makes an academy darling even then.? Playing Physically handicapped helps, playing an autobiographical figure “YES!”, digging up history & Holocaust – BIG TIME.! Bodice Ripper – NO! Sci-fi, high five - NEVER. Comedies – Well Go & ask Jack Black & Jonah Hill what they feel about it!
Beyond all the technical & film-making facets - there’s also that “luck factor” the key ingredient lingering in there somewhere which plays a pivotal part in deciding whether a film or a performance or a director gets the biggest nod’s of the evening, winning the most coveted/celebrated award in the face of this universe.
You can afford to trump the budget & make the best movies ever made by general consensus namely – The “2001: A Space Odyssey’s”, The “Apocalypse Now’s”, The “Fargo’s”, The “The Social Network’s”, The “Citizen Kane’s”, The “E.T. The Extra Terrestrial’s”, The “Jaw’s”, The “Minority Report’s”, The “Vertigo’s” & The “Notorious’”, The “Taxi Driver’s”, The “Raging Bull’s”, The “Do The Right Thing’s”, The “Third Man’s”, The “Pulp Fiction’s”, The “Searcher’s”, The ”Raiders of The Lost Ark’s”, The “Aguirre: The Wrath Of God’s”, The "Frank Capra Epic's” – and yet The Academy doesn’t even comprehend the content of these films, ending up disrespecting them & thy film-makers by shying away from the obvious choices & choosing not to give away the award to these films mostly due to non-filmy reasons rather than anything else – “ Oh! We Don’t wanna tick off a powerful media figure! Oh! We are too scared.!”
CUT THE CRAP.! NOT AGAIN.!
Who gives a damn about Academy Awards.? Those Jury members are there only to keep boasting their foolishness time & again but not for expert/intellectual reasons (they lack common sense you see!) and we, as audiences go with the flow & hail the “selected winners” as the best of the bests on an automatic pilot.!
How come awards & recognition like the box-office collection be the final say on the quality of films & film-makers these days.? Ridiculous…
As I say this “Tom Hanks” & “Robert Redford” gets a snub even on the nominations list for Best Actor category for their great work in “Captain Phillips” & “All Is Lost” respectively in 2014, once again underlining my focal point – “How biased this fkin OSCAR Jury really is.?”
I can understand Redford getting a snub because his movie was already titled “All Is Lost” PING! But what about Hanks’s work in ”Captain Phillips.?” - “CAPTAIN”.?
Like James Cameron once quoted –“ These people are generations behind.! Way too slow on the Learning curve!”
Poor Jimmy made a cutting edge 3D epic called “Avatar” one of the film I still consider to be the greatest ever entertainment to have graced the silver screen alongside “The Dark Knight” & the academy, out of stupidity. didn’t nominate Jake Sully & Co in the Best Actor category trumping the material down as mere prosthetic make overs. (I’m not talking about the final list but about the initial lots.)
Prosthetic acting ain’t real acting.? Who said so.? The stinking ghost of Osama Bin Laden.?
Badda-Beep, Badda-boop,Badda-beep. Damn you Oscar! Damn You.!
Go Home & change Baby Diaper’s. Look after your family. Have dinner & breakfast, and never come back. That’s what you deserved to do.
In the immortal words of Napoleon Bonaparte – IDIOTS!
