Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I
wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real
passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him
you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and
motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant
and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be
very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway,
42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these
things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he
has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in
his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's
now one of my dreams too.
Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be
growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
PS:
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home.
I love you...
