13 yrs ............. 13 yrs is a quite long time .. enough time span for the things and people to change ........ sometimes we think that we have forgotten everything ..... but suddenly one day it feels like u haven't a single thing ........ A visit to the person from the past can bring a storm which can disturb heart as well as mind too .... so many things started running in my mind ... ohhh no .. wish I could I stop all those thoughts coming in my mind ... wish I can put breaks to them ......... brakes ! ..... cheeeeee...! the vehicle get stopped with a jerk, on side of the road and for a second, I felt like everything in my mind has come to an end ..... I step out on the footpath and stood next to the railings on the over-bridge .... it was all dark down there ........ I look at my wrist watch it was 9.30pm.
Why she came back .... that too after 13 yrs ........... with her like everything has come back .. those masti times .. gossips... pranks .......talks .... memories and those shattered dreams too ...
We were students of totally different streams in the college, but we have chosen for the same optional language and that's how the interaction between us begin ..... the discussion on the topics were always hot when we both present in the class ... I was having that, so called practical approach towards everything ... fantasy and emotions were like drama for me and were the things should be kept under the heart not to show off ....my clear perception was life runs on a hard road and one should be strong enough to run and win ....... and her approach was totally reverse of that ... and for me she was a girl who lives in fantasy world and thinks that life is a kid's game played in the garden of flowers ............ and slowly those discussions were become part of daily life even started outside the classes .. those free periods and she use to recommend me what should I read and I used to recommend her what she should .........
We used to wait for each other for free periods and people around us had no meaning either they have to be a part of it or they have to leave us with those talks ........
I still remember the day we departed ..... her father got transferred and she was leaving the city with the family ....... I was not able to sleep whole night ... thinking shall I admit and confess what I feel for her or not ... what if she doesn't like it .. what if she feels that I m too like those guys who look at every girl-boy relationship with that angle .... No I can't .... I was running between to say it clear or not to say it .... and what is the use of confessing it when she is leaving too far ... how this will work .. it will leave both of us in pain forever .... I don't have any right to put her in pain ... I can handle my self ..........No I can't ................ the dilemma didn't leave me and the guy who thinks he is the most practical one became dumb on that day ..... we good bye her ... I didn't look at her eyes on that day so that she can't read if there is any ................
13 yrs ..... today I write poetry ...... I write stuff related to emotions ..... my personality swapped .. is she still alive inside me ..... I don't know .... do she has changed too in those years or still the same Mills & Boon girl ................
I look at my watch it was 11.30pm now ..... I look at my cellphone it has 7 missed calls from home .... when there is too much of noise inside... no noise from outside whether honking vehicles or cellphone in the pocket........ u can't listen any of them ...... I started driving again back to home ..... my wife greeted me with a smile and asked, "where were u .. you even didn't pick up the phone ?" ..... I pick up my son in my hands and said sorry it was on silent mode and I forget that ..... .. I settled on couch pull a pillow under my neck .. started playing with the TV remote so that I can ignore if somebody calls me from inner self ...................
Continued forever ...........
