June 1st 1999, I landed in this country- a land of dreams and opportunities. Coming to terms with living in a foreign country was never my forte. I never had any desire of going abroad. I was raised in a middle class ,educationist family where we talked about books and enjoyed good music We had a small transistor which would often stop when ever my favorite song would come up. We had to softly tap the transistor to bring it back to life. Life was good.... my parents never had so much money to buy us luxuries that today's generation enjoys. Maybe these things did not exist at that time! Just a small radio and some books were my prized possessions. I was happy.
When my husband got this job opportunity during the IT bubble, he was thrilled and so was his family.My husband had his obvious reasons to be happy. Most of my husband's family lives abroad. Everybody was happy!
The news was broken to my parents. There were no comments. No one from that side of the family lived abroad. I am the only daughter. I was leading a comfortably happy life in the city of Chandigarh in a 1 canal house, had servants and everything else that you need to live that kind of life! I had a successful career and so did my husband. Then WHY AMERICA??? My aunt asked me- Bindu, people go to America in the pursuit of happiness and to get what they don't have here in India. What is it that you don't have in India?? I had no answer.... I was sad, my parents were sad... everybody was sad...
My husband left for the land of opportunities that June... I stayed back with my daughters. He left to arrange stuff before we joined him. Finally I landed on this land of opportunities.. so Far away from my family.. I landed at a place of nothingness. We had nothing. We lived in a small one bedroom apartment in NYC. There was nothing in the house. I opened my suitcases to take out snacks, some dishes and some bedding that my husband had asked me to bring. Thus started my life on the land of opportunities...
Well, life was on the fast track. Living in the metros is not easy when you come from a smaller place. It was hard to go out. There were all kinds of people outside. I did not know who to trust. We started building up,slowly ..slowly..one brick at a time... one step at a time...
We are successful today. We achieved the American dream long ago that many people crave today. Our kids have grown up and are gradually moving out. We have everything.BUT wait... did we miss out on anything? Are we really happy? Have we forgotten about India? We are US citizens by naturalization so does that mean I not an Indian any more? Oh No! I did not want my life to go this way! My heart craves to be in India all the time. We watch every new Hindi movie within the first week of it's release. I love watching Indian rone dhone wale TV shows all the time, I cook Indian meal a few times a week. I call my friends and family in India all the time. Then why live in the US????? I am sure this is the dilemma of several other desis living in this country. Does this land of opportunities really give us what we want? Why can't we be happy wherever we live? Why are we always in the pursuit of happiness? I know it is human nature and we don't really have control over this but I am still looking for the answers.... What did I achieve by coming to the USA that I did not have in India? ...I still do not have an answer....
