I just happen to be a Bengali who has spent his core years outside of not only Bengal, but also sans the company of Bengalis courtesy of my boarding schooling / public schooling days. It has helped me gain a broader outlook towards life and have a more intimate understanding about the ways of some other communities in my country.
However, did I really gain from that? Yes, having a broader outlook towards life helps in understanding many sects from a personal level, may even help you have a varied, diverse, deeper good friendships with several range of people and have a correlative understanding of various communities.
However, if I look at the simple things in life, like finding a partner for marriage, for example. People in India, are in general, inclined towards looking within their own communities for that. Unless people somehow fall in love. But that can't be planned. Of course, there is a certain inherent amount of intermingling between broader classifications of communities. Not denying that.
Myself, on the other hand, I am a Bengali who knows close to nothing about Bengali culture, doesn't have any craze for Bengali food. Has very few Bengalis as proper friends. That's because the mind has become accustomed to some other ways in the core years of my life. That tends to have an impact on you, in addition to the person you really are.
But really, where does that leave me? I have to call myself a'Bengali', knowing very well, that I'm probably quite different from even a Probhashi Bengali (a Bengali settled outside of Bengal). At the same time, I can't call myself another community person, knowing very well, that I would probably gel well with some of the same.
That, in turn, is deeply disappointing and I am placed at god's mercy hoping that something good will materialize, which is why I've already turned 35 without finding a partner till now. The definition of "something good", like I mentioned above, is not very simple in my case. Although I know, what is good for me.
Strangely enough, it is the probably the core years of my life (what I grew up to be, till I was 25-26 or so), which has understandably moulded me. And probably placed me at a disadvantage in that regard. So, I have those early years to blame for that, although they were meant to do me good.
Absurd as it may sound, if I didn't have that upbringing, I would've probably had a narrower outlook towards life, would've been married to within my own community and jobwise, it doesn't really affect who you are personally, necessarily, anyway.
So, having a broader outlook, is it really all that important in life? Looking at the progress of some personal aspects of my life, I am having second thoughts. Earnestly requesting "god" to find a solution, so that more of my life is not wasted in that regard!
