Have been down with viral fever the whole of this week, and it’s been extremely irritating being like this. Oh yes, did get myself screened for H1N1 and have been told that I don’t have the infection (yet). Still, I have been advised to keep myself isolated to prevent passing on the virus to others. It is very frustrating as I was thinking of making certain changes to my life this week and this silly flu just blew up all my plans. I was planning to brush up my (non-existent) driving skills, and join a gym. I wanted to go see my niece, and meet a friend who’s come down from Canada.
I was all set to go to work today (not that I miss my job, but thought some change from all the TV, reading and movies in this week will do me good) but suddenly developed cold and running nose. Damn! I am not a fan of forced holidays.
Well not just this week, ‘Disappointment’ has been the trend this year. This really has been a year where all my plans just haven’t worked out. Add to that the decisions I made turning out all bad. Each year, the month of August brings in good cheer for me in some form or the other (good job assignments and recognition, hearing from long-lost friends, loving messages – very special and positive things). This year I have had no such luck. On the contrary, it’s been all negative and depressing. Its half of August gone already and with that all the optimism and enthusiasm with which I was hoping to look forward to this month.
Frankly, now when I look back I always knew that something like this would happen. I chose familiarity over novelty. I chose assurance over intelligence. I chose still & deep waters over bubbling rivulet. Its okay not all choices may work for you - but I still feel a little let down as I truly believed in them. Especially because for once, deep inside I felt some things were meant to be. Sigh!
Just in case, you are wondering why am I talking as if the year is about to end when we are still in August? And, what is so special about August?
Well, by year I mean 32nd year of my life and August happens to be my birthday month.
Goodbye, the year of lost hope and shattered dreams.
