Jul 03, 2006 05:29 PM
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(Updated Jul 04, 2006 10:19 AM)
When I got married one of my friends gifted me a book titled the "**ideal marriage**".
The **image** of an **ideal marriage **is a dangerous concept! Beware of this trap and steer clear of it.Any person who worship the image of an ideal marriage is worshipping an idol which doesnot exist.
Yet each one of us, boy or girl has that image of an **ideal** partner right from childhood.Girls worship the image of a TDH gentlman straight from the pages of MB, the one who always open doors for you, the one who never forget your anniversary, the one who knows how to kiss a girl, the one who has a tremendous sense of humour .a knight in shining armour!
Boys also nurture the **image** of a princess.a perfect combination of beauty and brains. the matrmonial coloumns seek **really **beautiful, fair intelligent, homely.then there is the **myth** about the **right partner.**Many people believe that if you find the** right** partner the marriage will take care of itself!
Soon the honeymoon is over and the **images** slowly start crumbling down.You realise that your partner is not your i**mage** but a totally different individual with a distinct personality, likes and dislikes.For some people rest of their life is a struggle.A struggle to change ones partner to ones own way of thinking, to make him/her conform to the **image! **Have you heard people saying after 15 years of marriage'I now realise it is not the person i married."What they really mean is even after 15 years the image is still intact in their minds.
Why do people marry?
Some people marry so that they have somebody to **control**.Some others marry so that they have an **ear to talk to**.Certain others stay married so that they can make somebody **suffer.**Some relationships end in divorce when somebody stops being controlled, somebody stops listening or somebody is no longer willing to suffer!
I think the **over** **estimation of romantic relationship** perpetuated through the films and television, is a dangerous trend.The failure of marriage is the failure of our culture to provide models and reasonable expectations about human relationships.
Marriage is not an **answer **but a **search for life.
*How can two totally different individuals come together and live together year after year?Only through **dialogue.**Look at **marriage as a continuing dialogue**, a search for growth of both the partners.
For those who are yet to marry:stop worshipping **images.** do not marry your fantasy!
For those already in: **Burn your images** and **accept **you partner just as he or she **is.
"**Chains do not hold a marriage together
It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads
which sew people together through the years
that is what makes a marriage lasts
more than passion or even sex!
* - "Simone signoret
*Blessed are those who are able to see those fine threads!
* '
