I am writing this post citing my personal cases but I believe this is common to every household. That is why I just want to start an open and healthy discussion on this subject..
I am younger of three brothers. Myself is at Siliguri in North Bengal because of my service. Eldest brother is in ONGC and posted at Mumbai. We two are living with our families in our respective places. Middle brother is having his own business and operating from our ancestral home at Kolkata. My mother is no more and father is 82 yrs old and stays with middle brother. We three brothers are having very good and cordial relation and never faced who will look after the parent sort of problems. There are some reasons for these. My parent are very independent in nature they care for their freedom and also give respect to the freedom of their children. They were totally un interfering type. Hence we never any had any serious problem as such. They were very confident of themselves and know very well what to do and what not to do. Financially also they were totally independent and they own there house at Kolkata. Now my father stays with my middle brother but he leads life as as saint. He never interferes with day to day affairs. He follows his own routine. He is busy with his own books, papers friends, telephone. By the grace of God he is keeping reasonably good health and he used to take care of his health. This is an ideal case of relation between old parent and their grown up established children.
Take a second sample case .This is of my wife sangeeta. They are three sisters and one brother. All sisters are married to good reasonably good guys( I consider me a good guy) and all are well settled but at different places. Brother is also married and very well settled at Kolkata. My In-laws are financially very sound, have their own house at Burdwan and very dominating in nature. They love their children very much but still treat them as young enough who need guidance. They are also independent in nature and very much perfectionist . They can not stay along with any of the children and prefer to stay at their own house . However they are growing old, and necessity demands that they should stay with one of their children. But because of their habit they are not very much compatible to their daughters and son. My wife clearly says that she loves her parent very much but she will not be able to stay with her parent 24x7. I understand her point. I know how dominating they are. My mother in law does not want to see the face of wife of her son. So there is a problem.
Now I request MSians to give views on above issue . What should be the behavior of we children , what should be the behaviour of parent. How much compromise has to be done by both. How a happy acceptable to all compromise can be reached. Please come up with your views.
