Dearest God,
I am so thankful to U our Lord, in all days I've been through not just me but to the people who believe in U and trusted U.
Yestrday Lord, I wasn't able to write U a letter but I know/ I do believe that U know how much I tried to write though so many things I need to do in the Library and outside of the library, right?but its too late when I came back in the library :( ..... But here I am now trying to continue it.
Yesterday and even until now, I don't know how I'm going to overcome such things, finishing such things and also letting myself alright after all nonstop probs.. yes I called it nonstop coz every decision in life needs to be improve within one's self.
I am a freshmen college taking up Business Admin. Majoring in Entrep. While studying I'm a working student from our school and was assigned in the Library. Aside from studying and working I have upcoming tournament this Sunday in the field of Chess for the Olympic Eliminations WIDE. These are the things which is very important for me I cannot go beyond of what I expected without my self trusts, I cannot climb the top of the tree without my trust and to God. When I get nearer of the top of the tree for me to feel the fresh air, for me to see the real beauty seeing it from the top, I felt I losses strength though you know that everything seems alright but it is not because of lack of trust, that when u felt u can make it done easily but it is not because of lack of trust, and most of all, that u think of others treatment to u is not good because of lack of trust.
Yesterday morning at 10:15am we don't have class because my professor have some appointment to do. So that's the time I thought I would go to the club for me to practiced within I think 2 hrs. because at 1pm is that is the time I would start working in the library until 6pm instead of having practiced after my work. Afterwards when I'm in the front of the gate thinking and doubting if I would go or not while checking my cute wallet... he he he....five mins after I decided to ride on a vehicle when I'm in the Club I saw Sir Flor calling to me and ask if I would play Open game or 20 old under game for the elimination... U know this is the things I am worried because I am not sure where I should play. Last Monday at night my trainor said that I should play 20 under not Open game because I am not yet above 20 coz I am still 18 old so why I should play which is not my age level... Sir Flor(in Club) told my trainor that I have the capacity to play at veterance game because I've been in a lot of experiences and its true... my trainor told me its up to u if u can make it but be sure u can make it. I felt sad because my trainor want me to play at 20 under not at veterance level... he want Sheryl would play in veterance not me. he insulted my skills and everything he said it hurts me.! what he thinks of me is I am not the player who can't win any tournament... that he thinks I am should not exposed at veterance level... I felt he just act like a deaf of what Sir Flor told him about my experiences than Sheryl. Sheryl is still 17 compared to me, sheryl is her first time playing in a tournament compared to me, sheryl is not a varsity player than me.... then he want sheryl be in veterance not me... My closed friend name Rose Marie said that Sheryl is the sister of Serge the one that is a veterance that my trainor is his closed friend too so she want sheryl be exposed in veterance level than me... see.. what he thinks of me..I am not sad if I'll be playing at 20 under but I don't have time to file the requirments unlike veterance level don't have requirments needed... if he want me to play at 20 under why they don't cleard first where i should play.
Sir FLor said I should be put in veterance level because he trusted me.. lot even from the start when I met him before he know me already since high school. And I am so thankful to him also.. even from the regional game last year he is the on supported me and won as a champion only in board 2 (two) not 1(one) he he he.....
This morning I am happy accomplishing my reports in Economics its all about dollar exchange rate in the Philippines... and YES!!! as I could see.. they understood it well because when my professor ask if they have some questions.. no one answered because they already ask a question during in the reporting... he he he done well.. he he he..
Lord God its ok if I can't go to club after work... coz I don't have nothing to do...coz my money is not enough to get in there. and I am tired of walking I don't know y in fact I always walked.. from public market to the Club... he he he... maybe I am tired after walked..
Lord God I realized how lucky we r... to be in this world.. of U..and accept u heartily...Thanks a lot...
Always
Judelyn
