Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
