You may have aspirations to get a star shining near you.
You may have aspirations for stripes as well to adorn your broad chest.
You also may have aspirations of medals, trophies, certificates to deck up your living room showcase / display cabinet.
First and foremost is how to get the star. A lot has been described already and a superb review very recently by a renowned name on this platform has put it across wonderfully.
I have the following criteria that are needed to be adhered to, to get a star, perhaps.
1. Always remember your P.T.(Physical training) drill
1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-8;
8-7-6-5, 4-3-2-1….
on the beat of the rather large drum or maybe that Jaat instructor (usually Jaats got these jobs, cuz itna toh unnhe aata hi hai…Jaat re Jaat, sollah dugni aathh) whistle blowing.
Smart moves, disciplined fashion, perfect routine are attributes that may help you to get a star, no guarantee however.
2. Ask Mom to deal with a good ’Dhobi’ (washerman) to provide clean, crisp attire.
Your turnout and despicable outlook in behaviour and media (read pics) may help get you a star, no guarantee however.
3. Visit fashionable stores / malls and window shop, if CC limits does not permit exhorbitant spends.
Knowledge of brands and big names to impress by virtue of catalogue information is also good enough and may help you get a star, no guarantee however.
4. Do learn the art of ‘Lallo Chappo’, well that’s colloquial term for ‘Maska baaji’, OK lemme get this simpler.
‘Buttering’ needs to be mastered. Be sweet, gentle, goodness personified, cool, cordial, social, polite, greatful, gracious, …..and all other such adjectives when used in moderate to high levels can result in ‘Buttering’ and it may help you get a star, no guarantee however.
5. Follow the yesteryears ad campaign tag line, “ Hum Red & White peene wallon ki baat hi kuchh aur hai”.This was directed towards bravery & heroism.
Be bold, daring, courageous, outspoken, forthright, straight-in-the-face, take-no-nonsense, service before self kinda person, it may help get you a star, no guarantee however.
6. You may need to travel, manage things at all the new spots, be wary of happenings, carefully take notes, be skeptical of touts, have a sharp eye for fakes, be tactful against bookies…and the likes and it may help you to get a star, no guarantee however.
Now that we have accounted for how to get one, lets check the rules about how we may lose a star....guaranteed to lose it.
Rule # 1: Get into unnecessary fights, arguments, debates and generally be on the wrong side of the motion.
Rule # 2: Take bribes, underhand benefits, seek favours, solicit relationships on the sly; and remember to get noticed or caught.
Rule # 3: Be abusive, cuss words in the middle of every sentence should be like parts of speech. Dirty language, rude behaviour, filthy overtures, lecherous eyes and lousy loose commenting will do it for you.
Sure shot prefunctionaries to lose a star as soon as it comes. Only that you may still keep yours, if you :
happen to be a dooooooooor ka rishtedar of the CO; or
come from the same gaaon or town or state; or
if you are willing to carry out personal / domestic errands; and /or
prepared for compromises.
Police ki naukri aisi hi hoti hai. Ask any SI what all he will do to become an Inspector.
Aapne kya socha, main kisi aur star milne ke liye yeh lamba – chaurha lekh likh raha hun. Sorry Guys, to disappoint you, but did you not get what you wanted in the post ??
