I think I make a bad boss. I feel bad to tell anyone to do any work. I end up doing most of it myself. But then when deadlines are not met my boss glares down at me and says “delegate delegate”. So… ahem…I make an attempt. I delegate work to my junior. And here I must pause to add that the forces above conspired to do this to me. Or else why would they send me a 20 something, Sai Baba style hair, 6 footer as my junior. Why, I ask you why? I mean when I have to lecture or be critical of her, I still have to look up to her!
So I brief her and give her the deadline and then I let her be. I do not like following up every 2 minutes to see if the job is done. I trust that she will do it. But then the deadline comes and goes. The job? Silence. I hesitate to ask…until my boss breathes down my shoulder. Then I ask her if the job is done. She looks apologetic. “Actually…I had a doubt and was waiting for you to clear it…you know in the brief you had mentioned…”she drones on and on. I want to pull my hair and scream! Oh you pretty damsel in distress were you waiting for the prince to come to your rescue...? Why oh why did she not ask me? Do visit my profile pic – from what angle do I look like a bad witch who spews fire? She does this all the time! Then I do not even have the time to scream at her I have to come up with something real fast.
At other times when I’m frightfully busy she pulls up a chair next to me and asks me a zillion doubts. Why are you doing it this way? Can’t we do it that way? Did the client ask for it this way? Can I try it that way? And on and on and on…I give her one word answers while tapping furiously at my keyboard. Does she get the hint? Oh lord no. Then I have to apologetically look up to her and tell her I’m busy girl can we discuss later.
Now she sits right next to me. (Help!) So every day she keeps me up to date on what she did at the gym that morning. How she ate oatmeal and banana for breakfast and then sped past all the cycles in the traffic to reach office on time. Then she points to the zillion and one hair pins on her head and tells me “bad hair day”– every single day. Why…I ask you?
And she sings and hums. When I’m on the verge of getting the right line…she will break into a loud song! Pop….goes the line. And worse still…the song gets to me and I hum it for the rest of the day. How annoying is that!
Then suddenly she declares “I want to eat chocolate mousse. I have to eat chocolate mousse. I must eat chocolate mousse. NOW.” Oh lord help me. Rescue me. Why me?
Then she will disappear with her bag and come back 30 minutes later with a big ‘I ate chocolate mousse smile’.
Today incidentally she yearns to eat chocolate cake. Not the mousse mind you. Just normal cake. Help…she’s going to grab her bag and go off to eat the cake. Let me go look up to her and tell her please she’s got to work before she disappears…
