Bullying is an important part of school culture. I’m serious! I consider it extremely important. I wouldn’t be half the person I am today if it wasn’t for bullies. As you can probably guess, I wasn’t the tough nut bully, but the victim in almost all of the ceremonious occasions. Being bullied and learning how to cope with it is probably the best self help guide to be initiated in the big bad world out there and learn how to defend yourself without crying ‘Mommy’ every five seconds.
Bullying has evolved, like every other goddamn thing in this world. It has branched out, should I say, from its primitive form. Today, we no longer rely on the playground bully for our share entertainment dose, nowadays, we have office harassments, cyber bullying, marital bullying (yeah, that’s a good one) and pranks that go too far. Whatever be the case, bullying has had plenty of limelight and ‘effective’ ways to counter it have not resulted in demonic success.
I don’t intend to trivialize bullying through this post, or intend to ridicule it. It is an extremely serious matter and should be dealt that way. However, I would like to share some easy tips that are extremely effective in dealing with ‘sticky’ situations that have worked for me or some of my friends. You may find them ridiculous or even idiotic at first, but trust me, they do work!
The playground bully:This is the most familiarform of bullying. You will notice him from the movies, as our weakling hero gets roughed up at school. Even though this scene makes the most cameos in the movies, it is really common in real life too. Every child, at some stage of his school life gets bullied, unless he himself is a bully, of course. Or you might be one of those children who stand in the crowd and watchthe show. Either way, this form of bullying is very common. If your child has told you that he/she has neverbeen bullied, seen it, or experienced it, they are lying. They are lying straight through their teeth. It maybe, that at such a young age, they might not even realise that what’s happening to them or what they are doing to others is bullying. I have been in a lot of nasty situations and got out of all of them using a little thing I call – my brain. Whether it is getting picked on for my leg problem, the age old gimme your lunch problem, and thousand other clichéd situations, I’ve been there. It’s easy to say – oh, use your mind and you can get out of anything, but practically, it’s a bit elusive. Long sentences do not make sense to the playground bully. Your reply must be short, with not a lot of confusing adjectives and straight to the point.
Some tips –
This is a gem of a line which your child can use and it will definitelyget rid of any bully on the planet. It’s a personal favourite protection of mine, and guaranteed ‘protection’ throughout primary school. If done right, it is a miracle cure. Ready?
When a bully wants to get physical with you, as soon as they come near you, just yell – “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me. You might give me an erection!”
CONTINUED IN PART 2...
