Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
