When I started typing this I knew that now it’s the time to talk about the things I have left behind….or you may say that the things passed me in high pace!!!!!!
I also realize it now that the things which I have left are not of any importance for me but some how they still mean a lot to me! Well I am lost in between words……am I????
I hate to manipulate the time piece…
I just know that, I can’t stop it or push it forward….then why?
Still I juggle my thoughts back and forth why????
It makes me want to live with the bygones!!!!!
Why can’t they just desert me…or why can’t I just let them be bygones!!!!!!!!
Almost forty having survived two car crashes and lost my dear ones, in a spate of few months…….
I am living what can only be called a tide, at times its lethal but later it just paddles around the shore….I am still walking on my ground but sometimes the earth underneath becomes quick sand
Mobility is low, no long walks, no even outings no fun…but I still fight every now n then I venture out….but now the feel is different. Am unable to enjoy like I used to do it before….am I still living in the past!!!! But No comes the answer from within.
What are missing are expectations. Everything is going to be the same until the final downhill slide!!
What else is there to expect?.........well yes a lot many things a lot many hopes and a lot many deeds to complete
all for me everything for me…my way should suit me……why am I like this now…….I wasn’t like this before…I use to be so carefree with my things….well with my life….then suddenly why do I worry now…….I think and think a lot!!!!!
But then, when I wake up to the world........ I am lost lost in the vacuum of life!!!!!!!
Yes Lost…..lost, indeed! In my web of life.........Lost In my open eyed dreams
Still donno!!.. now can’t imagine what awaits me.
