Nov 01, 2008 09:47 PM
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"Lets go for a relaxing vacation to the Andaman Islands during Easter break”, said my better half.
“Andamans? As in the Andaman & Nicobar Islands??”
“Yeah!!” he said with enthusiasm I didn’t share.
“But that’s Kala Pani! A place where people were banished in the good ole’ days! Why are we willingly going there?” “Because it’s untouched and almost but not quite out of India.” he quipped.
Case closed.
So, decision made, flight bookings were next on the agenda. “Hey!” says Columbus again, “Lets try Paramount Airways! It’s an all business class airline!“. Oh well... if you’re going to be banished, may as well do it in style I think.
So on the day of departure and to begin our relaxing holiday we rush to the airport, combating crazy Bangalore
traffic – our driver Surya assuming the mask of a rally car driver, all the
while praying that we make it on time! We did make it, and with time to spare
thankyouverymuch! Move over Schumi, Surya was here to stay.
“Sir, Ma’am, please refresh your selves in our private lounge” says a pretty
but gaudily made up face at the Paramount Airways counter. So I’m thinking…
“refresh myself”?? Am I looking that grubby? And there is another lounge at HAL
airport???!?!?!? Apparently not. We trudge up to the canteen like common lounge
where the service staff looks so harried that you almost want to get up and
help them serve!
“I’ll have a cold beer and my wife will have a diet coke please”
“Sir”, says our waiter, “If you have beer, you can not have snacks from our
buffet. We will give you some wafers with your beer”
I just got more stuff on my plate and we shared. I failed to see the logic in
that rule but…whatever!
“Paramount Airways regrets to inform you of the delay of its flight to Chennai
by 30 minutes”
My husband’s beer arrives as does my coke – both flat. We decide to check email
etc – no network. Let’s read a paper! Not one in sight.
“Paramount Airways regrets to announce the further delay of its flight to
Chennai by 25 minutes” Grrrr
1½ hour later we board an “Air India!!”
bus to take us to the plane. My thoughts are now: “Oh Lordy! If this “all
business class” hoity-toity carrier doesn’t have their own bus, it can not be a
good sign! I was right! Imagine our shock when we board the aircraft only to
realize that they have just rechristened classes! Economy is Business and
Business is First Class! The only actual difference is that all seats have good
leg room. The cabin music was unbearable and they had the same song on loop!
Aarrrrgh!!
“Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah” that’s what the air-hostess’s incomprehensible
safety announcement sounded like “and we will serve you refreshments in the
form of hot snakes on this flight” HOT SNAKES!!!????!! Is she serious? This
does not look good! I want my mommy!!!!
Never mind, I console myself, it’s just a 40 minute flight – I’ll kick back my
heels and read. Read?? Read what? The regional newspaper or the in-flight
magazine? That’s the choice! Oh well… at least there is a choice! Hah!
With nothing better to do, I observe the air hostess serving watermelon juice.
Her dark blue/black skirt was so short she had to keep tugging it down, thereby
spilling ½ the juice in the tray. The short skirt had a 2” slit riding up her
thigh with shocking pink piping that had seen better days and frankly, so had
the hostess. Food came next and we chose one vegetarian & one non
vegetarian option. I chose vegetarian which consisted of fried chilli idlis
with vegetable stew and some indescribable dessert which was a yellow puddle as
bright as the sun! My husband ordered the non vegetarian option and got fried
chilli idlis with chicken stew and some more of the indescribable dessert. My
white boy husband looked positively green after one bite of the yellow goop. We
could have interchanged our plates and they would have been identical except
for the three pieces of chicken he had in his.
We touched down in a rainy Chennai 2½ hours after our intended arrival. But the
captain definitely flew coz we made the 40 minutes flight in 25 minutes!
