Much to my amusement I was recently party to a ‘girl seeing’ ritual. (Ah yes, they still do happen!). A ‘suitable’ boy was coming to see my 26 year old cousin. I was asked to come in the last minute as her mother wanted me to ‘drill some sense into the girl’. This sounded interesting so I agreed.
I went there expecting to see the girl coyly dressed in a sari, bedecked with flowers and jewellery. But was totally amused to find her dressed in her jeans and T. Her mother was fretting – look at this girl, is this how one dresses? If it was the boy alone it was ok – but his parents are coming too. What will they think? Can you talk to her and so on.
The girl played cool and refused to pay heed. This is how I normally dress – let them see me the way I am – she declared. Finally after much cajoling from the mother (I was no help at all because all the while I kept trying hard not to laugh!) – it was agreed that the girl would wear a salwar kameez. No flowers and no jewellery! Mother gave in. Girl changed her dress – just in time.
The doorbell rang and I opened to find a lanky lad and his parents. His mother was very elegantly dressed in a cotton sari and the father in traditional dhoti. The body was in jeans and t shirt. The girl smirked when she saw this. She gave her mother this i-told-you-I-will-not-change look. She mumbled to me “If he can wear jeans and T why not me?” Since I had no right answer I simply clucked sympathetically. Her mother glared at me wondering which side I had come to support! Meanwhile the boy’s family settled in and the prospective bride and groom struck up an awkward conversation while the elders easily slipped into theirs. Since I belonged to neither age group – I was a silent observer. The conversation of the elders was normal – hope you had no problem finding the place and so on. The boy and girl was more interesting. The girl was keen on establishing her independence, likes and dislikes – “you see all the delicious stuff here today?” she asked him. The boy goggled happily at the goodies (there was vadai, sambar, mini idlis, chutney, rava kesari and pongal). “I din’t make any of it! I hate cooking!” The girl declared abruptly. The boy was taken aback by the abrupt statement. Before he could respond she asked “do you cook.” “err umm no actually.” He muttered. Elimination round one – I thought to myself.
“What are your hobbies?” she asked the boy. “Reading, music – I read anything magazines, fiction, non-fiction. Music...I like…” he rambled.
“I love shopping!” she declared venomously. The boy goggled yet again. “Anytime I get free time - I shop!” she said rubbing more salt into his wounds. Poor boy. I could see him mentally calculating his expense account. High maintenance woman. Elimination round two!
After this she was on a roll. And he was getting rolled! I don’t think he managed to get a word in for the rest of the evening. She managed to frighten him so much.
About an hour later, they beat a polite retreat with promises to get back soon and so on. The girl grinned devilishly as soon as the door closed. Forget it – they will not call. I made sure of that! She declared.
Her mother fretted yet again. Look at this girl. Why what’s wrong with the boy – such a nice family too. “Oh he’s too thin. And what a tacky shirt he was wearing…god!” The girl declared flippantly as she shut herself in her room to change back into her T and jean.
The mother sat depressed. How am I going to get this girl married – so many rules and regulations she has. I too was wondering the same. But I had had enough of the circus and excused myself.
I pity the young men of today! They have to contend with a new, shallow breed of girls who think marriage is a terrible compromise and are trying hard to be on top right at the outset. What are they trying to establish – I do not understand. Whatever happened to love and adjustment, promises of caring and sharing? Why has it come down to you vs me? Shudder!
