Sep 19, 2009 11:24 AM
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*Overrate:** Direction for this(and most) Yash Raj Films
*All rounder**: Poonam Dhillon in boring role as Kher’s estranged wife
*Silly point:** Dialogue(sample:Main Punjabi baap ka Punjabi beta hoon – well, what else could you be?)
*Boundary**: strictly Wagah – please show flags and marching to create superior effect
*Balle Balle!:** 2 songs – maybe add one for village rani when she washes clothes nadiya kinare
*Flight:** Air India(please add band baja and dancing/twirling Anupam Kher when it reaches Amritsar)
*Chappati Shot** – please replace this archaic, unknown term with *parantha shots*. Also add a few *tequila* and *agricultural* ones –
*Drinks Breaks(Two)** – between Dalip Tahil and Anupam Kher, patron da puttar for respective teams in Aman Trophy- keep fruits also to show good health, prosperity etc(also see *Aman Trophy*)
*Chin Music**: *all* the songs – jarring enough, even to be played on a boys’ school picnic
*Drive(two)** – one in truck that breaks down once, one in *huge* open car past the fields
*Featherbed:** Haystack for strictly antiseptic date between Rani and Shahid
*Extras:** 20 grinning dancers in turbans, 20 plump, pretty women in loose salwar kameezes, 2 nubile girls chewing sugarcane, 1 bull riding a truck. Ok, add the truck – it features in four scenes!
*Flashing outside the off stump** –(well, just about everywhere): Rakhi Sawant
*Padding up**: Rakhi Sawant
*Queering the Pitch:** Effeminate Heer in village play in a totally tasteless dig at alternative sexuality
*Quickies:** not found – it’s a U/A movie, please!
*Wicket Maiden**: Rani – truly consummate actress in Indian cinema for this reviewer certainly– methinks she’s maiden maid out for this role – oops!
*Flying Return:** first twenty minutes of the movie – dekho to jaano!
*Toss and turn:** lovestruck shahid at night after love strikes our London returned man in homeland
*Fine knock:** what shahid does when he goes to men’s dressing room in search of Veer urf Veera – indeed, had he been more prudent, the movie would finish in one hour - or maybe go four perhaps, like lagaan!
*Outfield:** sarson ka khet
*Footwork:** Shahid Kapoor, nimble as always
*Non-striker:** Shahid Kapoor – shades of Jab We Met!
*Good length:** oh yes! a really good length – could be cut by half an hour.
*Cuts:** too many – especially in the first half
*Middle order:** Rani Mukherjee
*‘Drag’ onto stumps/wicket:** Costume design for Rani - wicket twist!
*Makeshift Opener:** see *Drinks
*Golden Pair:** Contacts for rani(for 20/20 vision) in pivotal scene when her identity is revealed to shahid
*Floaters:** One pair(Rani’s shoes) to go along with red dress on their dhaba date
*Stock delivery**: DDLJ theme tune, Maine Pyar Kiya dialogues, baisakhi festival, tractor, separated older parents – do you want me to go on? – it’s YRF, na
*Aman Trophy:** fictitious India-Pak trophy created for this movie to save on budget J
*‘Short’ pitch treatment**: Sherlyn Chopra(often)
*Fine legs** - Sherlyn Chopra – of course
*Man of the Match:** what man? Chuck de man of the match! listen to end ka speech, jee.
