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37%
2.41 

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My Big Fat Love-nest infested with Pests!
Jun 29, 2004 01:11 AM 12471 Views
(Updated Jun 29, 2004 02:16 AM)

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Brevity has never been my forte. But I guess I did it finally this one time, in explaining a whole serial by the title of a review. ok... for those of you in a hurry to catch the train -


My = RimJhim (RJ hereafter) = Main Hoon Na


Big = Big-mouth Mother-in-law


Fat = Fat as Yakazuno Father-in-law


Lovenest = Piya ka ghar


Infested with = full of


Pests = unwanted relatives/guests & other assorted characters


and for others... once upon a time there lived...


My = Main Hoon Na = RimJhim


A young, traditional, homely girl (cry-baby comes FREE with that!) hailing from Allahabad (Ganga-Maiyya and all that stuff thrown in). As all cinderella stories go she has this evil maternal-uncle (Mama) who is after her ancestral property.


So in order to avoid this Kans-mama... Allahabadad ki chori becomes Muft ki roti thodnewali pori at Fat's house in Sundarnagar (or whatever the name of the place!).


Once inside her purportedly ''Love-nest'' she turns lady Shahrukh Khan a la Main Hoon Na & Kal Ho Na Ho. She does in her love-nest all that SRK does for the whole world in these movies except stammering! When she is not saving the world... she breaks the youngests sons engagement & gets married to him (didn't I say she's a lady Sharukh?)


Your dog has fleas? No problem - Ek baar kehedo... Main (RimJhim) Hoon Na... Babuji... here I come... the RimJhim... the wonder woman


Babuji (shedding tears) : Beta... you look so wonderful in Spandex...


I wish someone would put a cork in her mouth the next time she goes 'Babuji' & seal it good with super-glue... it is so nerve-whacking :-(


Big = Big-mouth Mother-in-law


As a counter-weight to always cheerful & smiling-against-all-odds RJ; we have a nasty, foul-mouth, wheel-chair-laden mother-in-law who takes happiness in sing other peoples happiness. She comes as bad as any big-bad-mother-in-law they ever made in Hindi films of yore


Every time this Big-mouth opens her mouth, I get this feeling that big-mouth spends her time smoking in the loo, whenever she feels bored of baying for RJs blood. This lady is very badly in need of flossing... Muley-ji... Aap Close-up kyun nahin karte hain ?!


Fat (lips)= Babuji = Aloknath (who else?)


Aloknath is the perrenial Babuji in this serial too (so what's new?). I simply love this man.


There are those who argue that his expressions haven't changed from the day he started to this day. I beg to differ.


In the good old days whenever he opened his mouth, his spotless dentures could be spotted effortlessly without straining the eyes. But In this serial... I have been trying hard to get a glimpse ever since episode one... lekhin Chaand hai ke Des mein nikhaltha hi nahin! All that visible beyond those ever-blooming fat lips is a big black man-hole! What happened to that Ivory Tower?! Sigh... we have to be content looking at a round uncorked walking talking wine bottle.


He has got more chubbier and added extra-inches to his ever expanding waistline. Aloknath-ji... a few inches more and the only serial you can star is the one featuring Sumo Wrestlers!


As far as crying goes... if RJ is the main-pipe of the glycerine tank, Babuji is the storm-drain! By providing equilibrim through bi-directional flow they ensure that the over-filled glycerine tank does not burst during emotional scenes.


Our Babuji is a heart-attacks veteran, being prone to in-numerable heart attacks which strike him whenever the TRP ratings go down. I was fortunate in witnessing a recent melodramatic episode of Mr. Sugar-balls going down with a 'thud' (a mini-earthquake) on hearing his youngest son accuses RJ of infedlity for the N-th time.


What a scene! The feeling of unbearable pain portrayed in vivid expresions ranging from 'Duh' to sheer ecstasy fleeting across ANs cherubic face in a matter of milliseconds. Then his well-built body falls to the ground at the rate of 1 feet per minute & hits the ground with a loud 'Thud'.


Then we learn Babu-ji has got a paralytic attack & will be keeping his face twisted for another 100-150 episodes... till he gets cured of it when shocked by hearing the news of RimJhims death for the 8th time.


To give an authentic look to the paralytic attack, AN kept his fat lips twisted to the left of his mouth by 2 inches! And they say Jim Carrey makes faces... can JC ever make a face like this? And they say ANs face is damn expressionless!!


And there is this 'Who feeds the Babuji' Reality-TV show happening parallely... with RJ & her psycho competitor-souten Malini both trying to feed Babuji. Babuji of course prefers RJ while his son Avinash prefers the psycho. He tries to prevent RJ from feeding AN & tries to get Malini to feed Babuji. But Babuji rejects the food he is being force-fed with a spoon with a disdainful digust filled nod. And RJ keeps winning round after round... until she & Babuji shed a few dozen gallons of glycerine & Babuji painfully accepts food from the psycho... and all the while those lips remain twisted to the side by 2 inches! Anyway... I have got a new simile to descibe the twists in 'K' serials - As twisted as Aloknath's Lips!


When finally this feed-game is done, RJ gets hospitalized for pregnancy & a life-threatening tumour. Avinash snatches the new-born baby from the hospital to show Babuji. Our Babuji slaps Avinash forgetting that he is still suffering from paralytic stroke. And drags himself out of the bed & drags himself across the floor using his bare hands. And lo... he is cured! Wait... half cured! There is so much spare supply of glycerine to shed! So now ANs lips are only twisted to the left by only 1 inches! ( I remember some former US President saying 'Read my lips'). I can only guess that it will take another 50-70 episodes before Babujis lips move back to their original position. Or may be sooner... Babuji recently dragged himself to the gates. AN raving mad in a formerly white kurta-pyjama now looking more like a Municipal worker fresh out of a blocked drain... restrained from further body-sweeping by the entire family. If you haven't seen these recent happenings, you haven't seen Babuji at all!


RJ is dead.. No, she is in Coma. I am sure she will return back after some 25 episodes. By then Avinash would be married to the Psycho Malini. She in turn would be under the threat of her even more psychotic alive-again ex-husband. And Wonder-woman RJ to the rescue again...


Continued in the comments section...


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