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My Big, fat girl friend!!
Jun 28, 2003 03:32 PM 3399 Views
(Updated Jun 30, 2003 07:19 PM)

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I deeply regret my wrong doing for this review should be posted under the title NOKIA 5110 and I unintentionally posted it under NOKIA 5510. Please bear until I work it out with the Sr. Manager of MS


CAUTION.


This is yet another edition of the series''total timepass'' review chain that I have started from my earlier review depicting my love for my new samsung handset. So If some of you don't have seconds to invest in reading a dumbly articulated opinion on a dumb phone---please press The highly recommended button on the L.H.S of your Visual Display Unit and you will be automatically sent to the home page


For the rest of you, since you know this is a total time pass review # 2, I thank you for your patience and I know it's assumed that I would write a concise review. In case you don't know; for me, the word ''concise'' is a euphemism for very short.


About NOKIA 5510, let me feed the seeds of truth in you that this was the phone I used when I was not supposed to. Before the advent of new sleekly and oomph phones, NOKIA 5510 was a craze and fad until newer, delicate, featherweight phones got boost in Indian Market and now since NOKIA gives out almost a new model everyday, it doesn’t take much time to understand that the phone I'm describing succinctly is already considered archaic.


Please see that I'm reviewing this phone in relation to the present genre of phones that are flooding the market--both in Grey as well as the non-Grey.


Due to the fact that it doesn't have any oomph/exciting features, I can't help but write my review in paragraphs and not in points with the striking bullets. I assume 5510 as a big, fat lady. It has a figure such that one needs viagra pills in order to do for what such pills are really meant. It only means that one has to hide it somewhere when you have no other choice left but to take it along with you when you're not home. Yeah, my chums have seen me blaspheming it all the time, right away once it starts ringing.


It just rings. It doesn’t sing. It makes you look like a dumb-head even if you are one but are trying to hide it. It's the Out-thing. It is bulky. It harbors a dull green light that can be compared to the illumination that is generally observed in the duplicate CASIO watches that the children are generally crazy about owing to the timer, stop-watch it has. It has a phone book, a calculator, clock to say a few features. So you see it has served people like my father and me for 3 years until samsung made its way onto my pocket and I felt much lighter and comfortable.


One striking feature 5510 has is that it has a protruding antenna such that when you keep it in your shirt-pocket,


it just shows off and makes the other person gazing at you feel as if you are showing off when you are actually not.


I am aware that the mobile phones have a new showing off place. I have seen young kudis(gals) and mundas(brats) showing off their cell phones by placing it on their fists such that some part of the cell is exhibited. But sadly, I couldn’t do that even because even after gathering my greatest strength, If I lay that yokozuna on my hand, I'd have permanent stress marks and even ''eraser'' cream wouldn't prove to be useful.


It has 30 in-built ring tones and most of them give me the feel as if I'm playing an 8-bit video game. On the top of it, it doesn’t have the facility of downloading ring tones. Looking at the positive side, It makes us save bucks for downloading the tune from providers. Now that you know some striking features of this big fat jumbo phone, please see the following conversation.


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Scene 1: Sumit just received an invitation from The head of the department (HOD) owing to the under attendance in the periods and as if this wasn't enough, he was found lurking in the college canteen with Christina during the college hours.


Sumit enters stage. He stands quietly in front of a model of Steam engine placed on the table of HOD. The ambiance is bleak. Groups of girls can be seen passing outside the room through a window in which the glass panes are inclined so much as if they want a permanent communion with the Mother Earth.


HOD(staring from bi-focal glasses. His eyes look like some flood of blood might come across anytime): You capricious freak. What is this? Your attendance explains that the number of times you shave your beard turns out to be more than you attend your lectures. Is this what you are here for? Is this a dating cabin or a lover's park? Do you have any idea about your behavior in college? (HOD sneezes. Talks get interrupted)


Me: Sir.umm.errr…Sir..I…well..Yes sir…No….sorry sir…(scratches head , eyes directed towards the floor.)


HOD: You were found in the canteen sharing a coke with Christina. Do you have anything to say about it? Do you think that loitering with semi-dressed girls is a fad? (Turns head towards the assistant and tells him): shambu, I'm fed up. What are these boys and girls upto? All they know is to show-off. Mobile, bikes, watches etc…I hate such people.


(A loud monophonic ring heard. All search for the source of such horrendous ring in an already gloomy atmosphere. Search ends. Culprit: NOKIA 5510. End result: Sumit gets suspended for a week)


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This is what happens when a phone is devoid of a vibrator. Please, for heaven's sake. Never ever buy a phone without a vibrator. The above may happen with you too.


The only thing worth recommended for this obese device is its price and games. Price is negligible and in Grey market it may cost up to Rs.1200/- to Rs.1500/- depending upon the geographic location. Games like snake, logic and memory are good enough to pass your time out when the lights are out at your home or when you are travelling in a State Transport Bus. (I write bus because you won't feel like taking it out of your pockets if you are travelling by train)


I think this phone is a perfect answer for those worried parents whom are nagged by their 15-yr. Old son for a mobile phone. Give them this fat lady and they'll never ask for a mobile phone again. Sheesh! Wait. Please be quiet. I can hear something. Oh!no! Not again.


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The sound fades away along with sumit. We'll be back after with a blinking new edition of the timepass reviews soon. Do tell us how you like our program. We neither have a phone number nor email address. So, just press HR-then comment and leave. We'll know how much you love us.


# We don't have any other branch and we are not hiring #


© Deja_vu entertainment unltd.2003


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