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24%
1.71 

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Amazing Reptiles and Spirits
Sep 02, 2002 01:36 AM 7283 Views
(Updated Nov 21, 2003 11:14 PM)

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~~Eons ago~~


A Naag (Armaan Kohli, some people never give up) and his Naagin (Manisha healthy Koirala) conduct a conjugal dance atop a cave wherein a Sage (Amrish Puri, unrecognizable till he speaks) is undertaking a severe penance to meet God.


Enraged, the sage curses the Naagin to die. If you blame him, imagine a heavily becostumed, very well-nourished Manisha doing vigorous B.H Tharun Kumar choreographed dance steps on your head.


She dies giving the most howlarious expressions, leaving the Naag distraught. Naag begs the Sage for mercy, so she is permitted to be reborn in the 21st century. The Sage, as an added bonus bestows supernatural powers to the Naag but confines him to a banyan tree.


~~Cut to the 21st century~~


Now the erstwhile Naagin is now a student of 'Indian Institute of Education'!!!!!!! [what? where? when? how? why?] She is classmates with Akshay Kumar, Sunil Shetty, and a host of other forgotten B-grade, out of work actors totaling to nearly a dozen. The female interests of these guys are so ghastly that even Rambha looks classier in comparison.


Naag returns all of a sudden from the banyan tree, singing their old conjugal song to remind Naagin turned Student of their timeless love. She readily remembers and agrees, but there is a hitch as she is committed to Sunny Deol in this birth.


Meanwhile, Naagin turned Student is raped by two lecherous classmates. She somehow believes (don’t ask why, it’s too complicated) that all the others including Akshay and Shetty are equally responsible for her rape.


She asks Naag to seek revenge and kills herself repeating those funny expressions utilized for her earlier death scene. Now this Naagin turned student becomes an Aatma. (Tricky, isn't it?) Naag and Naagin/Aatma go on a killing spree together.


Further ahead (or was it before?), Naagin/Aatma becomes a bride on a wedding night then transforms into a skeleton and kills the groom.


Naagin/Aatma also enters into Sunil Shetty making him do a fascinating death-embracing break dance.


Naag, not to be left behind, assumes various personas- from the heroes themselves to a corpse, an eagle (who was earlier Rambha, no reasons offered), a priest, a cop, and also fools all the classmates by conducting assorted tricks and stunts lifted from Mummy, Matrix, Aliens, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and Terminator-2. Who dies how, when, where and why is what the rest of the movie is about.


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The movie has the following downright unintentional hilarity:


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a)The Naag-Naagin conjugal dance (in which Manisha attempts reptilian slithering) amidst tacky computer graphics.


b)Old fogies as college students (Sunil Shetty learning computers in a classroom)


c)Arshad Warsi's revival from the dead


d)Raj Babbar organizing a boxing match (he is a priest by the way)


e)The shoddy special effects


f)Aftab-as sidey as ever, Sharad Kapoor overall. Somewhere in the movie Atul Agnihotri (know him?) pops for 2 minutes and does nothing in particular.


g)The attempts at acting by the entire cast. All of them have this ‘give me my cheque and let me go’ approach to the movie, which adds to the fun.


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P.S:- A message to Miss Sonu Nigam on his acting debut: Kindly do the world a huge favour and stick to playback singing only.


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P.S.again: Before I sign off, we Hindi movie buffs at MS must encouragingly pat the backs of Sunny Deol and Manisha Koirala (the Indian film industry’s 2 most accomplished, twinkle-toed and nimble-footed dancers) for their gargantuan efforts applied in getting their steps right in the bhangra number and wish them better luck next time.


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I still want you to see it. Why must I suffer hell alone?


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