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AamAurat's Fear/Stress/Worry Cycle - A Case Study!
Jun 11, 2008 05:55 PM 3720 Views
(Updated Jun 12, 2008 09:38 AM)

Note:To be read slowly to catch the finer points!

Recently a priest narrated this real life story to convey a big truth. This priest had assumed duties at a church in a small town. Soon he got familiar with his flock, among them was a girl who was to write her Xth std exams. Few days before the exam this girl meets the priest, who enquires why she looks worried. The girl responds “I have my Xth board exams & I fear that I might fail. Father, u know how important X std is. How terrible it will be if a girl from our family fails in X std. Will you pray for me father? The priest assures prayers & says she will pass.

She did pass, time moved on, now 2 years later she is to write her +2 Exams, she comes to the same priest, same set of questions & she replies “I have +2 exams, father u know how important its for further studies, how terrible it will be if a girl fails in +2. will you pray for me father?“. He prays for her, she passes this too & gets admission in college of her choice.

Now every year the girl is asking for prayers saying “Father how terrible it is to fail in yearly exams”. She passed all years. Then comes PG – “Father how terrible its not to get a PG seat “. Then comes the final year exams – “father how terrible to fail in PG, after having passed all this while” . She passes this too.

Next time when he sees her she has just begun her job hunt. Again asks for prayers saying “Father how terrible it is to be unemployed” . He prays, she lands in a good job. For the next 6 years job, career keeps her busy. She is 28 now. Soon everywhere she goes she is asked THE question. She also realized its time to settle down, so do her folks. And begins a great-man hunt! The next 1.5years pass in a jiffy & she comes back to the priest for assurances & prayer – “Father I am soon going to be 30, when will I get married, when will I have family. If I will not get married now I may stay like this forever. How terrible father it is to be alone & without family”. Father assures, prays, within 2 months a great man comes & marries her. The priest doesn’t get to see her for the next 2 years!

She comes visiting in grief, tells the priest “Father its 2 years since I got married, I am almost 32 & we have no kids. How terrible it is father to be a childless woman”. He assures, prays, when she comes to meet him after 1 year she comes with a daughter. Another 3 years pass in which she has a boy child. She is troubled again over convent school seat for her daughter – “Father how terrible it is if my daughter doesn’t get seat here & has to study in some other school”. He prays, they get the seat. 3 years later the same story again for the boy “father how terrible if my son doesn’t get seat here & both children end up studying at 2 diff schools” nothing of that sort happened! The next 10 years pass quick while she visits him for prayers for various intentions – “father how terrible it is not to have a car, how terrible not to have own house …etc etc. Everytime the priest assures her of prayers & none of her fears comes true. Now her daughter is in X std.

The priest happens to meet the mother who says “Father please pray for my daughter, she is in X & I am worried for her. How terrible if she fails in X std exams”. He also meets the daughter who asks for prayer using the “father how terrible it wud be if I fail … “ He prays, she passes, the elder she is happy. The same cycle repeats for the boy’s X std. After 2 years the +2 exams of the daughter, then the boy’s +2 exams. Their graduation studies, Jobs & not once did the mother , daughter or the son miss their refrains “Father how terrible if I don’t…… “ Both children of the lady pass all stages, do well in exams, land in IT jobs, go onsite to US, UK etc. In between they take off from work to do MBA from foreign universities but not before coming to the priest asking for prayers saying “How terrible if we don’t get admission, loans, visa bla bla “.. They again land in better jobs & suddenly realize the girl is 28!! The hunt for groom begins but no success in 1 years, she is now 29.

The mother, daughter come visiting to the old priest now. Mother says “Father father u know everything about us. My daughter has good education, job etc but she is 29 & unmarried. How terrible it is father to have everything & die before seeing one’s grandchildren.”. The daughter adds “Father father all my classmates are married & have 2 kids each. How terrible if I wont get married at all, how terrible it is to live lonely”… Priest assures prayers ….

The priest is now 70+, the mother is now 60+, the daughter is 30.. He doesn’t know when he will die, but he knows as long as he lives, this family will come to him asking for prayers with their refrain “how terrible it will be …

Moral of the story:

1)We often forget to live becos rather than living we are only moving from one anxiety to the other, moving from one fear to another fear!

2) do you know 99% of the things/events that we fear/worry do not happen at all

3)Fear & Faith are the same but in opposite directions – Either you fear the worst or Hope for the best!

4)Worrying about tomoro is like paying interest on a loan you are yet to take!

5)This is just to illustrate the stress life cycle of a woman, there will be one for men too!!

6) This is a template, just that in other women’s lives the similar events/reactions may occur at different ages, to different levels

7) I liked the way the priest narrated this whole story in an inimitable way, so thought of writing this here.

8)This is only an example case & not to be generalised as the same for every woman -working or otherwise . its only posted here for lack of any other suitable topic.

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