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A diver, Dracula and a few zombies!
May 29, 2007 11:13 PM 2319 Views

Zombies are not the most feared creatures in the horror list, but they are part of a number of horror movies. Diver was never dead and buried, which makes sure that he just makes a short comeback, to write on another spooky topic. The return is subject to more boredom than any interest to begin penning again, even if the absence also has nothing else to blame. So, here is the second interview with good old Dracula, hope some of you did read the first one.


Dracula:(yawning) Oh! its you again. Welcome to the Dracula castle. Hope you don't enjoy your stay here. You were never supposed to return here, or are you going to write on some stupid movies again under that weird id of yours? You need any information on any vampire movies? There is a new video shop opened here in Transylvannia. Hope you rent some DVDs from there and watch a few of them. Learn something from those movies, will you? Drinking blood is such an art and its time you master it. Say something about it, Mr.Driver.


Diver:(not too surprised) Well, this is the two hundred and twenty seventh time that I am telling you that it is not Driver its actually Diver. The R is not silent, it doesn't even exist. Now talking about why I am here, you know that people don't come to your castle look-alike without a reason. Actually, I am trying write on some zombie movies instead. As you also stay in the cemetry like they do, I thought that I could use your help. Do you people have any blood relation or something? I guess that your teeth is still better and you certainly have a nice coffin there.


Dracula:(angry) How dare you compare the immortal Count Dracula to those useless, mindless dead bodies? Come on, you haven't even wrote a review on this topic yet. We are people with great history and our ancestors once ruled the world. Kate Beckinsale and Kristinna Loken from your human world have made the vampire girls sound better. Actors like Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas acts as vampires, and have you seen my vampire bat? I think that you should learn some manners from it.


Diver: Vampire bat? Is it autographed by Adam Gilchrist? I did hear that they are selling a few of them after the World Cup finals. Where can I get one for myself? I never knew that u had gone to Australia too. You watched that World Cup? Cricket is getting really boring isn't it?


Dracula:(pulling his own hair) Mr.Diver, you are deviating from the topic. You better go and watch Evil Dead and learn something about those animated corpses. After all, its triology and it will keep you busy and away from eating my brain. The first one will be a little better gor you because it comes with some good advices for you, like you should never rent a cabin in the middle of a forest.


Diver:(excited) You got a valid point there, or should I say this is exactly what was in my mind? Dracula castle is always a better place for visit, should I bring all the tourists in? This one looks like a nice tourist place. May be we can put a few direction signs there, and the ticket counter can be placed just a few metres from here.


Dracula:(not listening) That guy called Bruce Campbell can certainly replace my janitor one day, and his minions can accompany him. The movie may have ben a classic when it was released, but it is becoming more and more funny if you are watching it now. I remember falling down from the second floor of my castle, you should try that too because it feels great to fall on your head. But I really loved all the blood and gore, it feels so lovely to chop someones head off, especially when they are your friends or girl friends, what do you say about that?


Diver:(with a cool grin) Yeah, sounds very interesting, but I am not planing to lose my head right now. Evil Dead is quite an interesting movie, and I would prefer the Army of Darkness. It is just another part of the triology, but as it is based on another land and a journey to the past is always interesting, isn't it? Remember that Time Machine from H.G.Wells. I think that the number of skeletons in that movie might have made you think about using your powers to make some servants from the bones. They have even added variety among the creatures, right? It is no longer the case of only the zombies.


Dracula:(looking at the mirror) The first thing which comes to my mind with the word "Zombie" is Resident Evil. Milla Jovovich is one of those very few human girls which I admire. She takes care of those zombies very well with her gun. Hope you have seen her fight with that Nemesis creature in the sequel. I am thinking about iniviting her to the vampire family too. I hope that she won't become a zombie after getting bitten by one of them. She already walks like one though. This may be one of the horror movies which deserve a five-star rating from me, but unfortunately I am not a reviewer.


Diver:(seriously) I agree about the movie, and it is one of those game-based movies which really clicked. With great action sequences and those special effects, this one is certainly looking forward to a number of sequels, as one of them is already there. But being the king of vampires, you should be able to resist all temptations. You just can't fall for another human girl. A vampire should have no fear, anger or love. Your feelings can be your weaknesses. You already have too weaknesses though. Your creator Bram Stocker doesn't seems to have given you enough brain yet.


Dracula:(throwing the glass of blood) Bram Stocker was never my creator. You should have read and analyzed my history before you said that crap. Haven't you heard about Vlad III the Impaler - defender of Wallachia? Your knowledge of history is too much restricted. I am really glad that you haven't taken History for graduation.


Diver:(going through his diary) Your history isn't in our text books yet, but there is another interesting movie, Dawn of the Dead which was released as a remake of the 1978 classic. We know that viruses can also turn humans into zombies from Resident Evil itself. A group of human survivors surrounded by a group of zombies - how spooky is that? It is worse than being bitten by vampires. They are eating human flesh, that makes you a great person because you only drink the blood and spare the body. This is why you deserve more respect that any other evil creature. I have the DVD of the movie, and I will be happy to send it to you so that you can transmit it through your Transylvanian local channel. Well, I know that you prefer the uncut version, but you will have to wait for that one.


Dracula:(walking around) Now that sounds like House of the Dead. I really wanted to do a guest appearance in that movie, but the flaws in the movie kept me away. Its time they realize that zombies are not concentrated anywhere and they are not cultivated. But still it is a better one, and hope you realize that vampire movies are always better than zombie movies. We are even more fashionable, and our teeth are so lovely and sharp. Do you also realize that we need no dentist? We know that you have a broken teeth, u better become a vampire rather than spending your whole life paying that scary dentist for fixing it.


TO BE CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION DUE TO THE SPACE LIMIT! I HATE THIS THOUGH


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