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My first love…
Jun 26, 2006 07:57 PM 4683 Views
(Updated Jun 29, 2006 03:27 PM)

I am seated on the third floor waiting for her… to come up. I bite my nails for lack of anything better to do… My exams would be over soon and I need to decide on a career. Wonder what she‘d say? Throughout my graduation she's been my guiding soul, my love, my pastime and I definitely know she’s my future. Though whenever I think of her, it’s sadly without feeling.


Ahaa! There she comes in all her glory. So bright, she seems so radiant. It’s a joy to look at her glowing face after the tortuous wait.  She whispers if I want to go someplace. I reply yes. I ask her where to and she offers me a suggestion. That’s more a command. The only alternative. You have no option, but to follow suit. Think or rationalize otherwise and she’d call it quits. In spite of this, I love her.


Earlier, I used to be dumbstruck by her beauty and intelligence.   Now I just yawn at both. Since I am used to her. But I never know what to tell her. She does negate most of what I say. But then, that’s her nature. I sometimes feel she’s superhuman. She gives me a complex. Anyway, I attempt to provide an insight. At the end, she gives me a dirty stare. I am quiet now, a bundle of nerves. I am scared of those dirty looks more than anything. In desperation after a silent prayer, I try again. I try informing her right from the start, more gently, more soulfully to the background music of Nottinghill. I thought why not add the music to make her happy. But she only appears more fidgety.


The only thing I can make her do. She looks good however she looks. Her dressing sense is quite good(since she wears what I want her to - Every time).  Ahem… I lay claim to have stripped her a few times. Yup! She allows me to do that… That’s the only thing I can control. Gives me a chance to try out my fashion designing skills– am ok at it but then she’s gorgeous. Actually that could be in part due to the live in relationship we share.


Agreed, she’s intelligent and bright. Though I’m duh about most of her fields. A hot debate or info, she helps me with the right answers. Subject to her good mood, of course. But then, the games she plays with me – Interesting, though I loose anyways…ooh! How do I describe it? We go on for hours…. endlessly, each trying to better the other ….Both of us seated, with only the occasional break for a cup of coffee or food …


I once asked her a question. I immediately regretted asking her that. She procrastinated… took hours before she came back with a very moronic reply. Since then, I only let her help me with what she is comfortable at, not what I want.(More like the rickshaw drivers) I guess it makes her feel good.


She’s been my soulmate in more ways than I can think of – can’t think of a life without her now, though  sometimes wish to run away from her. And then I think - She was always there when I wanted her – at whatever time of the day or night – as fresh as ever. So blissful were we that we didn’t realize time go by. I actually hate the sight of her for making me fall in love with her.  Like all good things come to an end, so did my love story.


Er…  Actually the system crashed. Darn…


Postmortem: Life goes on. The new girl is much quicker, agile and more beautiful than the old gal but there’s always a streak of pain when I see her on the attic.


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