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Orknob’s 2050 revisited…. A Loony tune
Aug 28, 2006 05:36 PM 3416 Views
(Updated Aug 28, 2006 06:55 PM)

I woke up from my slumber…I returned yesterday after attending Faisal’s party for MSians & went off to sleep


The party simply rocked with all the light, heavy and counter weights meeting each other and exchanging notes and phone nos. Juggernaut, Suyog, Premjit, Ketul Shah - the banned writers wrote a love mail to Faisal & pardoned. The others - Afrank, Spookay, & the rest just came back. Psyxx and the ilk were custodians of the general humor of the site. All were equally responsible for keeping the quality at MS high. Unfit controversies were NUed & deleted! The site now had high standards. MS coffers seemed to overflow looking at the amount spent on the party. MS was also publicly listed at NSE. The response to its opening offer had been enormous. The newcomers were no less lagging. They simply rocked the site & had fun at the party too. I feel thirsty


I yawn; a mirror downswings. Huh? Where did that come from? I look at my reflection & shock looks back. Must have sleepwalked through life so many years. The date on the mirror - the last day of 2050. That was some sleep aka Rip Van Winkle style. OH! I remember Vodoo's warning - too many drinks, a game of ninepins & I might sleep forever. I didn’t know literally!


Where am I? I check for the bathroom, except there are no doors! Now am getting desperate! When you gotta go you got to go!


A blue light flashes at me! The bed folds & disappears into the left wall. Lo & behold, the right wall expands into a bathroom! As I search for the brush, I see a brand I recognize. Tolgate. Yeah, my brand of paste still. Except there’s no brush! I read the instructions on the paste. It says inhale. (with a pic of the paste near the nose) I take a breath. Feels an express train loaded with mint ran through me.That’s fresh!


I want to gargle & switch on the tap. Out gushes steam! What the? I put my hand under it & it’s boiling. Hmm feels like water, I try catching it, it doesn’t stay. I pick a glass & try catching moisture. It hits the tap back. The glass is a little hazy, but still no water. I put it across my hand to wash & it’s cleansed. Smells clean too. I complete my bath. Time for breakfast


Still thirsty. The blue sensor swishes, the bathroom folds up. Now the front wall opens. Out come a few baskets from the ceiling! Fruits grow in the baskets! An apple, that’s a pear, & cherries too, in the same basket. The other had oranges, lemon & citrus fruits. That log is a tree I guess. I could see the coconut & the Palm, along with a lotta nuts! I definitely am going nuts


I don’t see water on the breakfast table. No breakfast either! Instead a few plastic boxes. One looks suspiciously like the dog… the calcium sandoz dog. I open it,a few pills. No instructions on the box. Not required. Somethings even a caveman would know. I open it & pop a pill. Urggh! It’s melts slowly & expands in my mouth. Tastes like a pizza with pudina! That was breakfast!


That might mean the water also is a pill. Now just which pill? One pill, I'm full, I’m in no mood to try the others. Anyways, I check out. One looks a transparent pill. I read the label. It says Bagpiper. This could be it. Water. I remember seeing an ad for their water somewhere. (Yea! Urja1980 had pointed it out at Faisal’s party) except I was in no mood to take risks with Hic pills. I pick up the bottle and immediately hear bagpipes playing. Nice touch of publicity. I taste a pill with the tip of my tongue… It melts. Sugared cappuccino! What the..When did Bagpiper get into Coffee?!?


The blue sensor swishes as I check the remaining bottles. This time the wall didn’t go back. Except the mirror drops down with the news. Something about India outsourcing work to Chad. There are huge demonstrations online against it…. Now that was useful technology. But how do I change channels? A buzz… ‘You have Shyamnambiar on the line. Do you want to speak to him?’ I look around, finding no one guessed it was this message on the same screen. There was a flashing underneath. I reply yes and… Bingo! Shyam online


Hey dude, you realize how many decades u been sleeping? It’s 20 years since I retired! And you are still sleeping! Hyok!


I ask How did you know I was awake?


Reply - See that neel batti. Woh to neeli daanth (for Shyam, for others Bluetooth) se tumhara ghar chalata hain. Wohi bataaya.


I am thirsty. Water?


LOL Reddy, Mazaak chod de. Paani kab se peene laga re? Anyways meet you at 5. Let’s go to Chad for the New Year party.Roger Dis Chap says they have new stuff the intergalaxial colonies sent. Lovely stuff. You might want to upgrade your kitchen. Ciaou!


One… Cut off. Now how do I ring him? What had a New Year party to do with a kitchen upgrade? Unless he meant those baskets of fruits. I am thirstier now, but don’t feel like drinking water!


New Year. That reminds me -Jennifer Lopez, waiting for tonight..(The millennium song) How do I track the latest? Hmm, a solution. I say, music. The room blasts to life. The tables & all the bottles pack neatly into the wall. The screen lists options. Do you want techno salt?Rappie sour?Fluid prose? Heavy loose metal? Or Stray pop?


What happened to simple pop? Anyways am interested to check new tracks. I select Heavy loose metal since it sounds interesting… A list of top 5 tracks display


# 1 What’s behind my blouse? -Mad Hexit


# 2 Who hit my buffalo with the stick? -Mtv Subbalakshmi


# 3 Ode to the (Georgy) Porgie Bushes -Sadame Hissin


# 4 Gift for momma -Angel25


# 5 What’s behind my blouse? -Krazyfrog soup mix


I select the # 1 track as it looks lively. Immediately the screen disappears into the ceiling. The lights dim. A sea of lights & characters surround me jumping & rocking to the tune of the song. I gave a jump & then realize - 3D images of the band perform the song live for me! The lyrics are hummable. Have I heard them somewhere? The song - pretty impressive & I liked the model who crooned the theme lines ‘what’s behind…’


Thirst. This time I say, I want coconut. A nut is sheared by its leaves. Out pops the inner fruit. Looks mouthwatering. The blue scanner scans & says, ‘Warning! Worm detected. Deleting fruit as possible source of stomach upset detected’


Yikes! All I want is to quench my thirst. I give up - go to check the news. Probably wise to surf the net. I say I want a computer. A loud hum, uh oh the sensor flickers. A few secs later, the screen rolls down. Computer not available. Are you referring to me?


That meant the screen is 'me' I say yes & the screen starts. My name - Cousin Manufactured by MS systems interactive. What do you want to do? Ok, Cousin, gotcha. Onto history lessons.


The commentary is accompanied with 3d images. Mankind on the verge of another nuclear holocaust…Egawd! This thirst is killing me. due to conflict escalations worldwide. Now how do I get water. Then came an alien race to help. I shout I want water in desperation. The commentary continues at the top. They helped build the Dyson’s sphere around the sun. At the bottom, the screen expands with the options


Bath water?


Beach water?


Any other


Be a sport -go to comments & let me know how to quench my thirst?


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