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I Screamed last Summer !
May 27, 2003 08:56 PM 3103 Views
(Updated Jun 27, 2007 10:04 PM)

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The Story: The team started on a movie called Bhayanak Cheeekha re-make of SCREAM. They decided to watch and remake one-scene at-a-time to prevent brain-overload.


Production ran smooth until, true to a scene-by-scene remake, the killer (Irfan Khan oddly named Khurana) calls up the heroine and advises her to lock the doors, then calls her again and tells her he is inside the house etc.


They even lifted SCREAM’s background music, so that, if a clueless audience couldn’t instantly make the connection, the music would definitely help them nail it.


But then Drew Barrymoregets killed in SCREAM. The Director was dumbfounded, neither did he want to bump off Aditi Gowarikar so soon, (having paid a hefty signing amount), nor did he want to waste the footage already shot. Pakya (the lightman) suggested “Apun ek Inglis-picture dekhaa thaa. HPHAPGKCMKKRT”i.e. Humko Pataa Hai Aap Pichhli Garmi-ki-Chhutiyon me Kya Kar Rahey thhey. (I know what U did last summer) “Usmey, pehle ek bandaa marelaa, fir sabkaa khoon karelaa”


The director jumped at it, as they could recycle the same actor to play the victim and the murderer, and cut costs. The story took a 90 degree turn, and they named the movie “Dhund” to represent the smokescreen they created to hide their lack of originality.



Cast: When Rishi Kapoor retired from films, I heaved a sigh of relief, but “He is back!” No wait… that’s his clone, complete with the X-large shirt-size and sometimes X-confused (Duh! double-Duh!), X-surprised (the ‘what-the-#@*%-do-U-mean?’ look), X-happy (psychotically-delirious), X-stressed-out (he-could-pop-a-nerve-and pass-out-any-moment) set of expressions and dialogue delivery.


I don’t mean the Rishi Kapoor of Bobby-era, but more specifically of the decadent Bol-Radha-Bol phase.


Check out the main hero and U’ll have nightmares of Rishi Kapoor performing dainty dance-steps wearing a white sweater and tight pants.


Aditi Gowarikar looks good in still-pictures, but motion-video sadly is not her domain. Her acting reminds me of my junior-school’s annual-day skit. The other girl is played by an old woman, who’s undergone a full 32-teeth transplant.


The background score has been lifted Left & Right.


Die-hard Amitabh fans will instantly recognize the haunting music from ‘Satte-pe-Satta’ (everytime Babu the-2nd-evil-Amitabh, used to put-on black contacts to hide his blue eyes) Just b’coz Irfan Khan has haunting eyes the Music-Director thought it was a good-enough reason to Copy-Paste that music here.


SNAFUs: At one point ‘Khurana’ is beaten up badly by the 2 girls, full frontal attacks to his face with a metal fireplace rake. His face is all torn up and bleeding. Aur oon do heroines ne usko pakkad ke dhoyaa (literally in a large transparent water tub) i.e they drown him. The thing to note here is when ‘Khurana’s face is shown under-water. All the fake blood and wounds, get washed away and his face looks all morning-fresh and clean-shaven. Later when the body floats up… Hey Presto! Magic markers, the blood and face wounds re-appear. Laugh-aloud special effects. More to come, later.


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