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Lets not talk about LOVE!!!!!
May 12, 2006 01:50 AM 1508 Views
(Updated May 12, 2006 05:56 AM)

*Jab dil hi toot gaya……

Hum Jeeke Kya kareinge

Hum Jeeke Kya kareinge

Mummy! Ab mera kya hoga!(did I hear a voice say ‘Jo hoga manzoore khuda hoga!)

Ok, Got that out of my system! Phew! That was hard.

So ladies, sorry Mr. MAN…but this is directed towards the gorgeous ladies! (After the break up, I cannot bring myself to give YOU men any advice leave alone good advice….)

So a lot of people will tell you how to calm your self, how to bring yourself to terms with it and so on and so forth. But not me, NO MAM…. I have decided to tread the path that no other member on mouthshut has attempted to go on before….Now it is time for Dr. Evil….or Dr. Evily(gender appropriate name!) to take over….MUHAHAHAHAHA

It’s a three four step program….so lets get started!

Step One

The first thing you do is BURN! No no no …Not him!.lets not get that extreme! The WORD is Evil not Psycho!.I am talking about burning, any cards, gifts etc.

Procedure….(Please keep fire a fire extinguisher handy)

Take a Metal trash can

Throw in an old news paper

Throw in a lighted match

Take the cards he gave you and put them to their pyre ONE by ONE

Please repeat same procedure with all the photos …. Very important!.

Take the Teddy he gave you, look at it with hatred for a moment, just imagine it is him, and then in one forceful motion throw the bear in the fire …MUHAHAHAHAHAHA (if u have managed to tear it apart already……… please be sure to put in the parts one at a time…each part with the same force)(you can also try and play basket ball with the limbs to heighten the FUN!)

All right! Please pat yourself on the back for a mission accomplished.

Step two

First we burnt, now we laugh….not the MUHAHAHAHA laugh….it is the HEHEHAHA type. I am sure you can find a million things that you found funny about him. Girl this is the time to let yourself loose and laugh AT HIM!

May I suggest some things!

Think of how sloppy he was when he was eating, how you always thought of buying him a BIB for his birthday

Think of how stupid he sounded when you wanted to talk to him seriously

Think of how he thought no one was looking when he was picking his huge nose

But most importantly, think of the poor girl who will have to put up with him now …MUHAHAHAHAHA (here it is appropriate!)

Step three

Leverage your single free and happy life.

Go dating, meet new people, and yeah always be on the look out for a cutie!.oh sorry I mean CUTIE!* Make sure this guy is hotter than your EX, smarter than your EX and overall Better!

Get cutie interested in you…there is no better way to feel better, when you know that you are wanted …and now since you don’t have any other commitments, hanging on your tail, you’re my dear are free to pursue the much cuter option.

Step four .(If you see him or live around him/or see him this definitely applies to you.)

So you know by now where he usually hangs out, who his friends are, what party he is invited to etc.

Go shopping….Use the money that you would have spent on him to buy yourself the most beautiful outfit.

Go the parlor, get a manicure, a pedicure, a facial, whatever makes you feel better.

Get all dressed up…and GO TO THAT PARTY!

When you get there, ignore him, be happy (remember you are better off)

Mingle with everyone around, knowing that things will get better for you from now on.

And one Golden rule…IGNORE HIM

If he comes and talks to you, be yourself, talk nicely, smile, tell him all the great things that you are doing and throw into the conversation just how much BETTER YOUR LIFE IS NOW!

Oh yeah ….I need to tell you this ….REMEMBER TO TAKE THE CUTIE! With you. He sure will make a great “J” material(MUHAHAHAHAHA)

Now slowly turn back and walk away! And know in your heart for sure that not only are you over him and the relationship, but right about now, he is REGRETING BREAKING UP WITH YOU!

With that mission accomplished lets raise our glasses and toast a happy life ahead and a teary EX-Boyfriend BYE BYE!

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