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Worst Movie of the Year
Oct 07, 2001 11:06 AM 6676 Views
(Updated Jun 24, 2002 07:45 PM)





Well, I know it's pretty late for me to write a review on this movie but I just happened to catch this movie on cable and I was so frustrated on watching this excuse of a movie that I had to vent out my frustration somewhere , so here I am.

The story is about a super rich hysterical joint family led by Grandad (Amrish Puri - trying extra hard to be cute).Soon his grandson Raj (Salman Khan - dumb grandson) becomes of marriageable age and cute grandad wants him to marry any girl he sees to he i.e cute grandad can get his favorite toy oops great-grandson. There is even a TV reporter who interviews the family because their Raj is back from where ever he was studying.Grandad says now that his grandson is here he will soon get a great-grandchild for himself. '' how cute!!'' goes the tv reporter.

Dumb grandson goes girl watching with his cute granddad and since Priya (Rani Mukherjee) looks nice and plump - which means a nice chubby great-grandson for cute grandad, grandson agrees to marry her. (please notice that everybody only wants a great-grand son here , no one talks of a daughter).Raj and Priya marry each other and a swift honeymoon later, Priya gets up one morning with morning sickness. wow!! one night and she is already pregnant!!. Cute grand dad is more excited than anyone else. A couple of songs dances follow to celebrate Priya's pregnancy. One fine day Priya has a fall and loses the precious child. Dumb grandson rushes her to the hospital and is all over the doctor. '' how is she? how is the precious kid?'' he asks. The doctor looks at him with a expression that suggests '' mr Raj, have'nt you seen hindi movies earlier? obviously your wife lost the kid and now she can't get pregnant anymore'' boo hooo!! goes dumb grandson. '' what will I tell cute granddad?'' the dumb couple decide not to tell their hysterical family about this. Hell where is that TV reporter? I thought this would feature as breaking news on CNN and BBC but no such luck. Grand dad's obsession with his future great-grandson grows by the day. Marry another girl tells Priya to her husband. Are women only meant for producing babies? if one can't give you a baby marry someone else. how sick!! and wait a minute, is'nt there something called adoption? Damn, dumb grandson's dumbness rubbed off on smart Priya. Adoption is not a solution. Grandson does'nt want his cute grand dad to turn into hitler granddad. you see , the great-grandson has to be his flesh and blood. Since Raj does'nt wanna marry again, they decide to hire a surrogate mom. In walks Madhubala (preity zinta) a prostitute. You see the directors have to keep the Indian culture in mind. no girl from a decent family will do this so it has to be a prostitute. ''Give me your womb'' says Raj. Madhu throws a fit. ''I only give my body on hire''she says. dumb grandson can't do anything right. In walks priya and convinces her to get pregnant. ''help me , I am sick of Raj's hysterical family. if there is a kid they will be busy with him'' she tries to tell her. Madhu agrees.But wait, how does Raj get Madhu pregnant. The nosey family would'nt leave the couple alone so where do they do ''the'' job. You see in the hindi film world, the concept of artificial insemination does'nt exist. Off they fly to Switzerland and Priya sends her own husband to madhu's bedroom. Time to have the most expensive sex in the world.

A few days later Madhu throws up all the expensive swiss chocolates and cheese into the wash basin. Hurray!! the cosy threesome go. Raj maintain's his 100% success record. What does this guy do? He just has to sleep once and the women go pregnant!! Madhu is the princess now. the cosy threesome do everything to-gether. shopping , dancing, singing. I expect them have a threesome but I guess the directors have'nt heard of threesome. (you can't expect them to know about a threesome. come on guys, they don't know about artificial insemination) All this happens without the nosey family knowing. Hell where did that TV reporter go?

The hysterical family throws a fit. why should we suffer in the heat, pollution and dust of Bombay while Raj and Priya have fun in the swiss alps? of they go bag, baggage and grandson expectations to switzerland. Time to answer odd questions about Madhu.

so what happens next? well, its a family movie so gallons of tears , melodrama , emotional blackmail etc etc. Luckily I survived this third degree torture.

Abbas-Mustan, the directors (2 directors and they could'nt come up with a good film!!) make a mess of this movie. Their forte lies in thrillers and they should stick to it. Salman Khan sleeps walks through the film. People say he has given a good performance because he has'nt acted like a buffon that he thinks is comedy over here so he has done a good job. I feel he should retire from films before he is banned from acting.

Rani Mukherjee's electric smile and Preity Zinta's dimpled exuberance fail to liven up this dull film. poor girls are reduced to assembly line baby producing factories in this film. less said about the other technical aspects of this film the better.

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