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This Balloon Didn't Fly !
Jul 06, 2005 07:37 PM 1891 Views
(Updated Jul 06, 2005 07:37 PM)





I couldn't wait to see the new adaption of AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS, because I adored the one Mike Todd made.

The plot begins in London during Queen Victoria's reign. Man has always wanted to fly like a bird and even way back then, or so Jules Verne did when he wrote the book with the same name in 1872.

In the first movie they characters flew in a balloon and saw wonderful places. In this film it focused on martial arts.

The Stars

Jackie Chan plays Lau Xing/Passeparout

Steve Coogan plays Phileas Fogg

Robert Fyfe plays Jean Michel

Jim Broadbent plays Lord Kelvin

Ian McNeice plays Colonel Kitchener

David Ryall plays Lord Salisbury

Roger Hammond plays Lord Rhodes

Adam Godley plays Mr. Sutton

Cecile De France plays Monique La Roche, (a French actress).

Karen Mok plays General Fang/Karen Joy Morris


As Philaes Fogg says in the movie, ''I am a British citizen and I have nothing to fear.''

The Plot

Passepartout Chan is a thief you has stolen a valuable jade Buddha from the Bank of England. The Chinese police and a women killer, (General Fang), are trying to find him. He tries to hid in London, England at the home of his friend, Phileas Fogg.

Phileas is an inventor, eccentric and an adventure who loves to gamble. He has made a bet with the men at his private club that he can travel around the World in 80 days.

He will be able to use balloons, boats, elephants, trains and any other type of transportation available to him. Phileas takes Passepartout with him, and they are off on a new adventure.

What I Thought

I'm glad we rented this film, if I would have gone to the theater I would have walked out before 10 minutes and had our money refunded.

The only good things about this film are the cinematography, set designs and the special effects.

The acting is over the top, and it looks like a Chinese Opera where everyone emotes too much and no one understands what is going on.

The script was horrible, there was no humor, and there were a lot of racial slurs. The stunts didn't seem like they had be rehearsed and like the film they fell flat on their face, (not literally).

There wasn't much fun except by the zest of Foggs manservant. The film felt stiff as a book and the most of the actors played their character just as stiff.

Chan has gotten older and seems to have slowed down. His role was backed up with the use of props.

Even the places were bogus: Berlin was used for Trafalgar Square instead of London, Gorerliz, (Poland) was the location for Paris, the Statue of Liberty was made of Styrofoam and was not in the harbor of NYC and they use Thailand to represent the time spent in India and China. Most of the art that was used was replicas on Van Ghough's paintings.

If I wanted to see a Kung Foo movie I would have gone to one. Poor Jules Verne must be rolling over in his grave.

The Best Parts

When they are in India, Monique Phileas and Passepartout are dressed like women. Phileas says, ''I feel faint.'' Monique replies, ''Phileas women aren't that weak.'' He says, ''No, but I am!''

Monique has just knocked out General Fang using some martial arts. Passepartout says, ''She must be the 11th tiger.''

In China, the group is at the Great Wall. Lord Kelvin is talking to Lord Salisbury. He asks him, ''What is this obstruction blocking my jade mines? It will have to be demolished.'' Lord Salisbury replies, ''It's the Great Wall of China.'' Lord Kelvin answers, ''It's not that great!''

The actors who had cameo Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The best part of the movie was when I saw THE END on the screen!

The Score

It's Slinky, Sehnaz Pesrev, The Mystery Continues, Everybody, All Over The World Join the Celebration, River of Dreams and It's a Small World.

If you want to read more about this film the site is:

Other Information

Released by Walt Disney Company in 2004

Directed by Frank Coraci

David Ticher wrote the screen play.

Filmed in England, Paris and Thailand.

Viewing time is 2 hours.

Rate PG.

My Conclusion

This film is rated PG because of the nippl3 scene and when Schwarzenegger playing a horny Turkish Sultan, (deck out in a frizzy wig).

Please go rent the Mike Todd version of this film, and don't bother seeing this one.

Thanks for reading my review.


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Around the World in 80 Days Movie