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Hemani Jain


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How English Killed ME!

By: jains24 Posted May 20, 2010 my experiences 592 Views
(Updated May 20, 2010 01:40 PM)

Hindi – my mother tongue. Since I was born I am listening to this language. Absorbing, learning more and more, never getting ends to it.

When my initial lessons, formally started, there was special emphasis to the language. The lecture follows like this : Your personality reflects from the type of language you speak. A good command over the language shows a sound person. For this a correct pronunciation is needed. Correct Pronunciation – Shudh Uchchaaran. It also helps you to write perfectly. If you can speak correct Hindi, you will write it correctly. A basic rule, which was absorbed deeply.

Then I came in contact with English, a plagiarised, oops I mean inspired language. Here all the rules failed, pronunciation was a tricky task to perform. To, Do, sound different from Gu – I mean Go.

Cucumber – Qukember, schedule – is shedule, why they play with letters was the most bothering question in my mind. But there was no respite, so do as the Romans do, hence I tried over a period of years, to keep my pronunciation skills right.

But then, I meet a different class of people. The leaders – because leaders don’t follow any rules.

Initial encounter:

Place: Marriage

I was bored; behind me were a son mother duo, busy in some serious conversation. I never wanted to hear them, but their volume was on the maximum, err I mean higher side. Suddenly mother sounded worried “Beta tune khana eata?” Eata, Eata, Eata????? I gave a serial reaction, and then went in deep shock, took me 2 days to be normal again.

I solved my biggest puzzle of life, courtesy leaders. I googled, looked in all magazines newspapers, for the car name Youknow. Finally it cracked as Fiat Uno. I meditated, as suggested, to stay normal, but now little seemed to worked on me.

My next biggest encounter was when a Merchant officer’s sophisticated wife, who toured and travelled to various parts of world, was enlightening me with her words of wisdom. Suddenly we started talking about imported fruits and she told me she loves kiwi and imported Graaps. Graaps??? That was a big blow, I went deep in comma.

My family and friends helped me recover. My only treatment was to stay away from The Leaders.

Final Blow :

Recently, I met someone, and I got Laveeeeeeees, BaffeT, ValleT, Janiiaan (read as Genuine), lipishtick, filim, gukki (Gucci) tommy hilfiGer. And I finally am resting in peace forever now.

But u will ask “ par aap to zinda ho ?”

And I smile and say “ye jeena bhi koi jeena hai lallu!”

Am I the sole victim on this planet, who was killed by the leaders, or you also got few fatal blows, if yes share, tell me whether you survived or .....

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